


Serpent's Soul

by Cryptocol



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Canon Universe, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Explicit Language, Hallucinations, Heavy Angst, M/M, Mutual Pining, OC characters, Psychological Horror, References to Depression, Shiro (Voltron) is Missing, Slow Burn, Violence, don't wanna spoil with too many tags, he comes back tho, lance has powers?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-10
Updated: 2018-04-29
Packaged: 2019-03-19 14:54:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 12
Words: 31,128
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13706781
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cryptocol/pseuds/Cryptocol
Summary: "What did it do to me?" He lifted his head to meet Keith's gaze and swallowed.Keith shook his head and pulled him to the pod, gently pushing him into it and placing a hand on the glass as he activated it. "Sleep well."





	1. Chapter One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOO first chapter! Looking forward to all of your reactions :)
> 
> 2,621 words

**_"That thing is_  ** **not**   ** _coming with us."_**

Lance peered out of his helmet's visor, temporarily blinded by the violent windstorm forcing orange dust into the atmosphere. He raised a hand in front of his face - even though he knew it wouldn't make a difference - and battled against the relentless onslaught, pushing forward as he followed the map presented in his visuals.

**_"Oh, come on Keith! She's harmless!"_ **

He surveyed his surroundings. The clock was ticking. A thousand metres North and he was out of the storm. His communications would be back online.  _Beeep._ An alert popped up on his screen and he pushed himself harder, trying to keep his breathing steady. His oxygen was running out.

 _Come on, Lance, just 10 more minutes_.

**_"Put it down, Pidge."_ **

**_"You can't make m-AHH!"_ **

"Hello? Can anyone hear me?" he called. He cursed as he stumbled over a rock and checked his visuals - 7 minutes.

**_"Keith! Keith, give her back!"_ **

He would have sighed if his suit wasn't screaming at him - 5 minutes.  _Fuck. This is it. This is where I die._ He couldn't tell if the swirling of the debris below him was the storm's doing or his eyes. If the dizziness in his head was anything to go by, he would bet the latter.

\- 4 minutes.

**_"We're not taking it back to the castle. We're leaving it here."_ **

\- 3 minutes.

He could see the clearing. He could see Pidge and Keith's figures. He could see their Lions. _They're right there. Come on, Lance. Just a bit further._ He dragged his feet closer, held his breath. A final gush of air hit as he broke through the edge of the storm.

He fell to his knees, yanked off his helmet and sucked as much air into his lungs as he could.  _I'm alive I'm alive I'm alive._  Rolling onto his back, he gazed at the sky and laughed, tears running down his face. _I'm alive_.

The sky was a myriad of turbulent orange hues, blending with green clouds of gas. Coran had ensured them it was nothing to worry about, that the air was breathable for humans.  _Yeah, totally breathable in the middle of a storm..._ Of course,  _he_  had to be the one who got caught in the middle of one.  _Serves you right for not taking this mission seri-_

"Pidge! What are you - oof -"

Lance pushed himself back up and tucked his helmet under his arm. He took a deep breath, closed his eyes momentarily and tilted his head to the sky before wiping his face and making his way to the cavern they were originally sent to investigate.

The temperature dropped as he entered the extensive cliffside chamber and sent a violent chill down his spine despite his insulated suit. It was littered with tiny, sparkling crystals akin to the stars of the night sky, whose beauty contrasted the jagged teeth of stone descended from the shadows above, and Lance pried a few from the walls and stored them in the side of his armour.

"I'm keeping her, end of. She's called Tanda."

Immediately spotting his team in the soft glow of Red's eyes, he approached with a small bounce in his step. Pidge smiled as she pushed her glasses further up her nose and Lance noticed there was a snake - a metre in length and green in colour - coiled around her wrist. Keith had his arms crossed, scowling pointedly at them, and his hand by his Bayard, feet planted firmly in the ground.

"The seer of life and death. Awesome name!" He grinned as Pidge and Keith snapped their heads towards him. 

A flicker of surprise crossed over Keith's face before he huffed and turned his head away. "You took your time."

Lance rolled his eyes and walked over to Pidge when she called him. He reached out a hand and Tanda hesitated before flicking her tongue out to lick against his skin. She trailed it up his arm and Lance cooed, "Aren't you just the sweet- FUCK!"

"I  _told_ you!" Keith hissed as he tore away from Pidge.

He yelled and tried to pry Tanda's fangs out but her grip was firm. The pain seared through his body and he grew nauseous, his head spinning. He inhaled sharply as Keith ripped Tanda off him and cringed when blood gushed out of the wound.

"Kill it," he snarled as Keith quickly pulled a medical box out of one of their bags and wrapped up his hand carefully.

"I can't kill her!"

"Then throw it over the cliff or something,  _anything_ other than keep it!"

He pulled his hand away from Keith and grimaced when Tanda rubbed her head against Pidge's cheek and flicked her tongue affectionately. He felt Keith stiffen beside him; the occasional glint in his eyes as the crystals pulsated cast a menacing aura about him.

"I think she likes me," she giggled and a small smile settled on her face. "You were going to let Hunk keep that weird space mole until he put it in a giant Venus Flytrap by accident. So why won't you let me keep Tanda?"

"Are you serious?" Keith scoffed.

Lance's mouth itched – lips tingling – similar to the feeling of when your foot has fallen asleep and gets the pins-and-needles of 'waking up'. Within seconds his vision darkened and his other senses shut off. Determined not to black out, he took slow, deep breaths and reached out for the closest thing.  _Shitshitshitshitshit - whoa -_ He tightened his grip as someone steadied him and lowered him to the floor. When he was sat with his back against something solid, he let his eyes shut to ease the panic of seeing nothing but black and struggled to stop himself from hyperventilating.

"-ance? Lance?"

He forced himself to breathe evenly.  _Stay calm, just figure out where you are._  He swallowed and brought a hand up to his throat but someone pulled it way again and held it securely.

"-the."

_Breathe, Lance. Just fucking breathe!_

The hand pulled away and he panicked even further, bringing both hands to his throat to pull at his suit.  _Can't breathe, can't breathe, can't breathe..._

"That's it," a voice barked. "There is no way this thing staying in the castle."

_Stay calm. You're okay. Just breathe. In...out...in in inin inininin_

"Killing her won't change the fact that she bit him!"

_Breathebreathebreathe-_

"But it  _will_ prevent it from doing it to someone else."

_"Hey, g- w- ou?"_

"-unk! Get Coran!"

He gripped his head and wished for the shouting to stop.  _Too loud, too loud, too loud -_

"-ce? Lance are you there?" A pair of hands cupped his face and he flinched before realising what they were. They moved his head slightly and someone's breath fanned over his face. "Lance, I need you to answer me, okay?"

"K-Keith?" he raised his hands to touch his arms and choked on a cough.

He focused on Keith's voice as he told him to hang on and that Coran would be there shortly.  _Keith's here, focus on Keith and just keep breathing. Focus on Keith. Ground yourself._

"Can you open your eyes?"

He shook his head. "Black-"  _Dark, so dark, why can't I see!? Am I going blind!? Am I -_

"Try for me. I need you to try and open your eyes for me, Lance," Keith spoke gently.  _Try. Open your eyes._

His head pounded as spirals of colour danced before him and he squeezed his eyes shut again before curling in on himself and trying again. Slowly but surely, a hazy figure came into focus and he stretched his arm out to touch Keith's face -  _Keith_ \- though it didn't take much considering their close proximity. He blinked a few times and felt himself slipping away, his muscles growing heavier.

Keith's face twisted and discoloured. "Hey, Keith...why do you look funny?"

"Are you seriously calling me ugly right now?" Keith huffed and tried to pull Lance up from the floor when Coran's voice came over the comms.

"No...you'll always be a pretty boy!" Lance argued, blinking as he tried to steady himself and focus on Keith's face. He frowned and wondered why Keith was holding him so tightly. "I mean...you l-"

"Lance?" Keith caught him as his legs gave way and wrapped his arms around his waist to hold him upright. "Pidge, let's go."

Lance tried to ask what was happening but only incoherent noises left his mouth in a hushed whisper. He didn't have the energy to complain or make a flirtatious joke when Keith pulled him into his arms, carrying him bridal style; he lay listlessly as Keith brought him to his Lion.

_Mama..?_

_\------------_

"Man, he's got to stop injuring himself. He spends more time unconscious than he does awake."

Lance groaned and slowly opened his eyes. A minute passed before he finally adjusted to the light. Still, he closed his eyes again and pressed his palms to his forehead. "What happened?"

"You were poisoned."

He pushed himself into a sitting position, eyes falling on the two people standing at the bottom of the medical bed, and stared at them for a moment before sighing. "Damn."

"How are you feeling?" Hunk asked.

"Venom-enal." He rubbed his head once more and scrunched up his face.

"Did you just -" Hunk burst into laughter. Keith pinched the bridge of his nose between his tumb and index finger.

"Oh come on, that was a good one!" He faked a serious expression when Keith deadpanned. "You're right. I'm sorry. Making poison jokes? Taint funny."

He and Hunk burst into another fit of laughter and Keith groaned. "You're insufferable."

"I didn't do anything weird, did I? Like, grow snake scales or something?" he asked, frantically pulling up his shirt to check his skin.  _No scales, check. No green skin, check -_

"That depends...what do you remember, pretty boy?" Keith picked at his nails and Lance dropped his shirt, lifting his head.  _Pretty boy?_

"Ah-uh-what?"

"GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF!" 

The three paladins shared a look as another scream resounded through the Castle; wasting no time, they ran toward the source. Moving through the corridors, Lance staggered and used the wall as a support system.  _Fuck, moved too fast._

Reaching the Control Room, they heard Shiro and Coran already there. "Princess!"

"Princess are you all-"

"DON'T JUST STAND THERE! GET IT OFF!"

Keith abruptly stopped and Lance had to push against the wall to avoid running into him. "PIDGE!"

He peered over Keith's shoulder. Big mistake.  _SHIT._

"Oh my," Coran smiled. "Seems like she has taken quite the liking to you, Princess!"

"Now is  _not_ the time, Coran!" Allura squirmed and Shiro finally moved to help her. He offered her a hand up, holding the snake away from her in the other. She took it gratefully and mimicked Lance as they both took a step back and shuddered.

He reflexively grabbed his hand and widened his eyes.  _The ghost of soft scales and pain, a hand around his own..._

"Does someone want to explain this?" Shiro asked them. He raised an eyebrow amusedly as Hunk threw his hands up - denying any knowledge - Lance freaked about them all being murdered, and Keith facepalmed. "Well?"

"PIDGE!" Keith shouted and Lance finally snapped out of his thoughts.

He lifted his head and saw Pidge sliding into the room on her stomach, hissing and calling Tanda's name.  _What the fuck?_ She pushed herself off the floor and smiled at everyone before her eyes fell on Shiro - "TANDA!"

"Care to explain?" Shiro questioned and held the snake further away from her.

"Experimental research?" she offered with a sheepish smile.

Tanda's gaze was fixed on Lance, a dark tongue flitting into the air every few seconds, tasting his fear, his sweat, his scent. He gulped and took another step back from the red eyes boring into him. "We're going to die. Voltron is going to be defeated by a space snake of all things..."

"She's not dangerous!"  _NOT DANGEROUS!? Stay calm, Lance..._

"It  _poisoned_ me!" he cried. "I thought I was going to die!  _Poison_ , Pidge!  _Poison_!"

"Stop screaming in my ear!" Keith complained as he clung to him.

"You can tell it's dangerous just by looking at it! Throw it out of an airlock!" He shook Keith repeatedly.  _CALM, LANCE. THIS IS NOT CALM!_

"Lance, I swear-"

"Youlook like a bloody snake!" Pidge shouted, snatched Tanda from Shiro and held her to her chest. "Why don't we throw  _you_ out of an airlock?"

Lance glared at her and tightened his grip on Keith's shoulders, steadying his breathing.  _Getting better..._

"Let's all calm down," Shiro placed a hand on Pidge's shoulder. "And start from the beginning."

Shiro automatically turned to Pidge and he zoned out as she told the story with the occasional input from Keith. The moment before he blacked out...something - a feeling? - overwhelmed him, familiar yet foreign. Something called out to him, coursed through his veins like it had been possessing him.  _It's here, it's coming_. 

That snake was bad news. Why couldn't they see that?

Zoning back in, he caught the end of an argument between Keith and Pidge about it attacking the others. "It has the perfect opportunity to attack any of us right now," Hunk stated and Pidge sent him a grateful smile. "But it's not. If anything it looks more scared-"

"It  _poisoned_ me!  _Bit_ me! Or did you forget that?" Lance stressed and cast Hunk a hopeful look.  _Not you too..._

"Actually, Lance here's the thing." The doors slid open as Coran walked through holding a rectangular device; Lance wasn't even aware he had left. "The scans show that there was never any poison in your bloodstream."

_No...poison? Then..._

"HA!" Pidge cheered and spun Tanda in the air. "Looks like you're staying with me, girl!"

"How is this fair?" he murmured as Hunk walked over to Pidge to pet Tanda.  _Betrayed_.

"Why  _did_ he pass out?" Keith asked. 

"It appears your oxygen levels were low. Did you...is that possible?"  _Well..._

He frowned. "I got stuck in a windstorm but-"

"The snake can stay."  _HUH?_ Lance flicked his eyes between Allura and Shiro as they walked toward the group from the corner they had been talking in.  _No..._  "But you have to keep a close eye on her, Pidge."

"And Lance, next time, try to stay away from windstorms." Allura smiled, an attempt at a lighthearted tease. Lance felt sick.

He spared Tanda another glare that only grew harder when the snake's green eyes flickered red. He didn't understand why no one was listening to him. But then again, if he thought about it, no one ever  _really_ did. Whenever Lance had a suggestion they shrugged him off or said it wasn't sufficient. Whenever Lance had a problem, they heard him but they didn't  _listen_ to him, or they would often just nod and be on their way. No one ever took him seriously. He should have been expecting it.  _Why do I still bother?_

"Don't come crying to me when your precious snake strangles you in your sleep," he snapped and stormed out of the room, ignoring the perplexed looks the others gave him. 

"Oh, don't worry. I won't," Pidge called after him. "You'll be the first to die."

He hesitated before shaking his head and walked away from the Control Room.  _Don't think about it._ He pushed through to his room and willed the tremble in his hands to stop, sliding down the wall until he was sat on the floor.

_It's over. It was just the oxygen. You're overreacting._

_It's over._


	2. Chapter Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 2,428 words
> 
> (I love numbers with patterns)
> 
> Trigger Warning: includes a nightmare and intrusive thoughts on the very last line.

__

Lance grunted as he was thrown halfway across the room and landed awkwardly on his side.

"I thought you said you were going to pummel me into the ground?" Keith smirked, and Lance glared at him. Forcing himself to sit up, he rubbed his head, grabbed his gun and checked his ankle.

"I've been unconscious! Can't a guy get a little sympathy around here?" he complained, standing up and messing with the controls on his weapon.

"For about ten minutes." Keith rolled his eyes. "And when it comes to you, no."

He scowled and shot at Keith, striking his shoulder. Keith's eyes darkened with a dangerous glint and he rolled his shoulders back, aiming his gun. "Playing dirty, are we? Fine. Game on."

Lance was the first to shoot. He dodged the shots Keith fired and ran behind the simulated barriers. It reminded him of laser tag, and he smiled fondly as he reset his gun. This was his element; Keith was going down.

"That all you got, Kogane?" he taunted and ducked as Keith fired at his head, rolling behind another barrier after running across the simulation. Keith replied with rapid fire, and soon the training deck was filled with nothing but sounds effects and the occasional grunt.

Lance was breathing heavily and he fell behind a barrier, stumbling over his own feet. He winced as he pulled a muscle from the impetuous dive. They had always been competitive, but he was almost certain Keith was out to kill him. Okay, maybe he was exaggerating a  _little_. Checking how many shots he had left in his gun, he prepared himself for the final blow and nodded to himself. He was going to win this.

As he popped up from behind the barrier, Keith came crashing into him. He yelled as they smashed into a wall and Keith fell on top of him -  _fuck._ Keith's breathing was rough as he pressed the gun to Lance's head and swung one of his legs over him. He swallowed as Keith pushed his hair from his face, and eventually sat back, using his ankles to keep all his weight off of his legs.

"I win."

He looked away... shifted... "You're a lot heavier than you look."

"Dipshit," Keith scowled and pushed him back against the wall, earning another grunt and a defensive apology to leave his mouth. "I don't want your apology."

"What  _do_ you want?"

Lance watched curiously as Keith's eyes widened slightly. The scent of sweat with an underlying taste of strawberry filled the air, their short breaths the only noise in the room aside from the occasional buzz of the simulation.  _Shit_. Keith leant closer unintentionally, crinkling his nose somewhat.  _He was so close, just a little further and -_ "Nothing." -  _wait - what?_

He was still trying to process his thoughts as Keith swung his leg off him and ended the simulation, offering him a hand. _Did I seriously just..?_  Lance declined his offer and stood by himself, ignoring the quick flash of disappointment in Keith's eyes as they both picked up their water bottles.  _No way, not tonight. Not ever._

"Goodnight Lance," Keith called once they reached their rooms. Lance blinked, not realising they had been walking in the first place.

"Uh-yeah, goodnight," he stuttered and slid down his door when it closed.  _What the fuck was that?_

\-------------

He was on the same spiral staircase again. Whether he went up the stairs or down the stairs didn't matter; he always ended up in the exact same spot. A single lightbulb flickered overhead, but if he put a foot on a different step it exploded and plunged him into complete darkness. Then he only had two choices - either move back or walk to the next floor blindly only to find himself back in his original place.

The darkness was suffocating, but the walls glowed a soft grey, casting just enough light for him to make out his hand if he lifted it in front of him. He could make out the crumbling stone walls and the ceiling that looked one hit away from caving in. There was a stench, putrid and cloying, that seemed to permeate his clothes and skin - still there when he woke up. He remembered his mother telling him that it was only because he had such an overactive imagination, but why did it feel so...real?

Something shifted behind him and he froze even though his heart was pounding in his chest. He stared into the dark, his eyes fooling him into thinking something was there when it wasn't. Or was it? It shifted again - a slow, prolonged drag and a thump as it stepped on one of the stairs. The bulb flickered. Illuminated the figure.

He ran.

He sprinted up the stairs, breathing heavily, unable to scream. The creature advanced slowly, obviously taunting him as he ran up endless stairs, never moving from the same spot. The staircase grew longer and the footsteps grew heavier. It was coming. Clawing and crawling its way to him, dragging itself up the stairs. It came faster, quicker, pounding against the stone stairs and the walls started breaking.

Lance screamed as it seized his leg, claws tearing apart his skin and a painful warmth knocking him sick. He collapsed, whacking his head on the stone and thrashed as it dragged him back down the staircase. He cried with each hit, tears flowing freely down his face, and shivered when he touched something cold: mud, not cold enough to freeze yet numbed his fingers as he desperately dug them into the ground.

It dragged him deeper and deeper, away from the staircase. The treacherous mud smothered him, cramming into his mouth as he was dragged through it. Deeper, deeper, deeper -

Lance gasped and bolted upright in bed. He threw his legs over the bed and lurched to the door, his entire body shaking, drenched in sweat and reeking of the same stench from the staircase. Stumbling into the shower room to wash it off, he pushed the dream out of his mind, though it lingered, insistently knawing at his consciousness.

_It's over. It was just a dream. It was a nightmare. It isn't real._

But how can something be called a nightmare if it doesn't leave your presence when you wake?

After scrubbing harshly at his skin and changing into fresh clothes, he finally made it to the kitchen where Hunk greeted him with a large smile that faltered when he took one look at his face.

"Nightmare?" Hunk asked as he placed a bowl in front of him. Lance hummed in response. "Maybe you should speak to Coran? He might be able to give you something."

"No. It's just a dream, I'll be fine," he smiled slightly and found it took great effort to move his lips.

"If you say so. But if it gets worse promise me you'll tell someone."

"I promise." Hunk smiled softly and pulled him in for a hug and he shivered, grateful for Hunk's warmth.  _Just a dream._

They were interrupted when Keith entered and slammed his bowl on the table when he sat down. Lance didn't bother saying hello, instead started to scoop up his goo and drop it back in his bowl as Hunk moved to prepare breakfast for the others.

"Will you stop doing that?" Keith snapped.

He ignored him, too preoccupied with the remaining images from his dream. The goo reminded him of the mud-like substance he was dragged through - thick, slimy and rancid.

_Just a dream, just a-_

"Okay, let me rephrase that. Stop doing that."

"What's it to you?" he lifted his head to glare at Keith whilst deliberately spooning his goo to drop it again.  _Morning Keith is not a Keith to mess with, Lance..._

"It's annoying."

"Yeah and so are you, but you don't see me complaining every time you show your face-"

"Actually, yeah, I do!"

"Guys," Shiro warned as he strolled into the room and sat across from Lance. The two boys huffed and turned their heads from each other.

"Sleep well?" Hunk teased as Pidge entered and seized her bowl off Hunk, walking into her chair when she moved to sit down.

She shoved a spoonful of goo into her mouth and pushed her glasses further up her nose, her hair dishevelled and clothes crumpled. "I stayed up most of the night trying to study Tanda. It's been three weeks and she's already grown another metre. It's quite fascinating really."

Lance shivered. That thing was definitely evil, but the others seem to have forgotten the fact that it had bitten him. He wasn't surprised really, more upset that everyone seemed to love the snake. All except Keith who still wanted it dead.

"We will be focusing on group training today," Shiro announced, interrupting Pidge and Hunk's heated discussion, and Lance heard Keith groan. He mentally agreed with him and scooped another pile of goo.

"Simulation or bonding?" Pidge asked.

"Simulation. Above all else, we need to become stronger as a team in battle. You need to learn that you have to work together and not on your own," Shiro replied and he rolled his eyes. He  _knew_  that was aimed at him and Keith.

Keith caught his eye from across the table and glared at him.  _Great_.

\------------

"Okay, team." Shiro lifted his metal arm above his head. "I want you to shoot only at drones attacking the person next to you. Do not shoot to defend yourself. You have to learn to protect each other and trust they will do the same for you."

The Paladins gathered in a circle, their backs facing each other. Lance was situated between Shiro and Keith followed by Pidge and then Hunk. He felt the tension from last night slowly lift from his shoulders as he rolled them back and allowed a small smile to play on his lips. He aimed his gun and waited patiently for Shiro to start the simulation.

When it finally started, Lance immediately covered Shiro as he sliced through the drones aiming at Hunk. From what he could hear over the whirr of the Castle and the usual noises of a battle, they were doing well. That was until he stumbled as his left leg was shot.

"Hey, Keith! Cover my back!" he shouted over his shoulder.

"I got you, Lance," Shiro announced and ran behind him.

After a few minutes, the team spread apart, each fighting drones for those they could rather than just those who were next to them. All except for Keith. Lance focused back on defending Hunk who was running around and laughing slightly. He shook his head when a sudden wave of dizziness overcame him and apologised to Shiro when a drone almost hit him.

"Keith, a little help!" Pidge cried as she was hit. _What the hell is wrong with him?_

Stumbling and slightly dropping his gun, he destroyed the drones attacking Pidge from her left and narrowed his eyes when he spotted Keith. His face was set into a scowl as he sliced through the simulation. He shared a look with Shiro before Pidge yelled again.

"Okay, that's it! Why aren't you defending anyone?" he stormed over to Keith, brushing off Shiro's hand as he reached for him.

"Stop simulation." Shiro moved to grab Lance again. "Lance, leave it, I'll talk to him."

"No!" he pulled away from him. "Pidge was asking for your help," he poked Keith's chest. "And you continued fighting your own battle. Why?"

"I was being attacked, I couldn't just ignore that!" Keith argued, face red and hair sticking to his forehead slightly.

Lance scowled. "Shiro and Pidge had your back! Why didn't you have hers, or mine? That was the whole point of this exercise!"

"Lance, stop-"

"I'm  _trying_ Lance! Can't you see that?" Keith shouted and shoved him.

Dropping his gun, Lance pushed back and threw his arms out, exasperated. "Well, it's not good enough. Voltron needs five paladins who have each other's backs. But all you care about is yourself!"

"You know what, fuck you, Lance." Keith snarled, his lip curling as he clenched his fists.

"No, fuck you!"

"Will you two watch your language?" Shiro growled and held his hands over Pidge's ears.

"Shiro, I've said worse." She rolled her eyes.

Shiro moved away from Pidge, softly apologising and patting her head. He eyed them harshly and Lance hunched under his gaze. Folding his arms and pinching his nose between his human finger and thumb, he spoke again in a quieter voice. "I'm not even mad. I'm disappointed.  _Yet again_ , this team has failed to complete  _team_  training because of  _you_  two. The team is falling apart because you are constantly fighting. You're supposed to be on the same team! You need to stop acting so childish and settle your differences. Otherwise, we  _will_  lose this war."

"Shiro-"

"No, Lance. I don't want to hear it. And Keith, I expect better of you. We've talked about this."

He took a step back and swallowed. It wasn't even his fault, how is that fair? Hunk gave his shoulder a small squeeze. Yet another thing to add to the constantly growing list of things that made him a failure.

"Both of you will go to your rooms and you will not come out until the morning." Shiro waved them off and Lance sulked as he and Keith stalked back to their rooms, both silently furious.

Lance wished he could slam his door behind him, wished he could somehow slam Keith's head against the wall and kill whatever it was inside him that made him so infuriating. He scowled as he stripped off his armour, changed into his jacket and threw himself onto his bed.

"This is all your fault," he aimed at the wall he knew Keith would be sat against.

"Sure, now you start an argument when I can't hit you, pussy."

"Oh whatever, Mullet." He banged his head against the wall.

He really didn't understand Keith. The two could get along: that was proven in many situations and they had even spent time together. Hell, they even had a bonding moment when Keith cradled him in his arms. Of course, Keith still didn't know he remembered that but he certainly did. But some things just can't change, and maybe Lance wasn't supposed to get along with Keith. Maybe they were the same end of the magnet.

Or maybe it was just Lance.

Maybe he just didn't belong.


	3. Chapter Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 3,029 words
> 
> :O it's starting
> 
> Trigger Warning: graphic descriptions of a wound and hints of a nightmare including death.

Lance groaned and sat in bed with his back against the wall, unable to sleep. He rubbed his face and dragged his fingers through his hair. Usually, he would have listened to Hunk ramble about his current experiment with food whilst trying to sneak small tastes when he wasn't looking, but he had wasted his day with nightmares.  _Note: trying to catch up on lost sleep is a bad idea._

Muttering to himself, he dragged his feet to the door. He pushed it open and halted in case the noise of the door had woken anyone. When he was certain he could move through the halls quietly, he half-skipped, half-stumbled to the kitchen, only to deflate when he realised he didn't know how to work the kitchen. He rooted through the cupboards, grabbing anything that looked edible and proceeded to randomly mix them into a bowl.  _Eh, it's better than nothing._

Satisfied with his work, he filled a glass of water and trudged back to his bedroom. 2 am trips to the kitchen were Lance's forte, and having six siblings at home made him a professional. He opened his door but hesitated when a small sob came from the bedroom next to his as he opened his door.

He had often heard his sister Ally crying over her boyfriend and had comforted her until she fell asleep He couldn't count all the times he had cheered up his younger siblings when they hurt themselves or even the rest of the team when they were hurting. But this was  _Keith_.  _Keith_ was crying. And would probably decapitate him for trying to help. But it wasn't in his nature to ignore someone when they were upset. Maybe he focused on other people's problems rather than his own because he couldn't help himself.

The short walk to Keith's bedroom was the worst experience of his life; nonetheless, he continued to knock on Keith's door with no rational explanation as to why he did it.

"Keith? Is everything alright?"

"I'm fine. Leave."

Lance frowned at that. Setting the glass down, he tried again with a lighter rap with his knuckles. "Open up."

"I said go away."

"Kei-"

"Lance,  _please_."

He froze. He remained silent for a few minutes, wondering whether he should just leave. Who was he kidding? This was  _Keith_. The Keith that hated Lance. The Keith that always argued with him and had made Shiro disappointed in him. Keith Kogane, the Garrison drop-out who probably caused Iverson's black eye and the mysterious explosion in one of the classrooms the day before he left.

"I brought you a glass of water," he whispered. "Your mouth goes dry after crying, it will help. I'll leave it outside your door. Goodnight." 

And with that, he walked away and entered his own bedroom, staring thoughtfully at the bowl in his hand. He wondered what could possibly cause Keith to cry. Maybe he was homesick. Did he have a family? Or maybe it was because of Shiro sending him to his room. Childish, but Keith and Shiro had always had a... strange relationship - the only thing he knew was that they knew each other in the Garrison. What if they were brothers? Maybe Shiro was the only thing Keith had and if Shiro didn't want him around then Keith had nothing...

Lance sighed and suddenly didn't feel like eating anymore. He raised his eyes to stare at the wall separating his and Keith's bedrooms with too many questions running through his head.

And that was when he realised that the team didn't really know anything about their Red Paladin. 

\-------------

"If you tell anyone about last night, I'll kill you."

Lance gulped and almost choked on his goo. Hunk sent him a concerned gaze as he greeted Keith, passing him a bowl, not having heard his words. He tried to meet Keith's eyes but he kept his head hung low. However, he noticed the subtle movement Keith made to slip an empty glass into the sink when Hunk wasn't watching and smiled despite himself.  _Huh, not as tough as you look, are you?_

"It's good to have you back, boys! You missed out on a  _great_ day yesterday!" Coran beamed as he sauntered in with his head held high and twiddled his moustache.

"Totally," yawned Pidge as she stumbled in with her glasses askew and her domestic clothes crumpled.  _Does she ever shower?_

"Dude, you need sleep." He chuckled as Pidge glared at him.

"Have you looked in a mirror lately? I never realised just how much those masks work wonders."

Any reply he had was cut off when Shiro walked into the room and stared at him. It was the kind of stare that dared you to step one toe out of line to your imminent death. And he didn't want to play with that possibility. 

"Be glad I sent you both to your rooms," Shiro huffed as he practically threw himself down in his seat. "We had to contact Slav."

Keith suppressed a smile at Shiro's frustration and decided to essentially shove his face into his bowl. Lance bit his bottom lip as Pidge smirked at him and Hunk turned to the sink.

"I'm sure it wasn't  _that_ bad-"

"Wasn't that bad!"

"He told Slav to count his hair follicles instead of complaining, and, I quote, 'You are about as useful as a knitted condom right now, you penis wrinkle'," Pidge mimed in the best 'Shiro' voice she could muster before bursting into laughter, followed by the other Paladins except for Shiro. Even Keith managed a small chuckle.

"What did he do to make you so mad?" Keith prodded his arm. Shiro sighed and shoved a spoonful of goo into his mouth.

"Don't wanna talk about it."

"You're acting like a six-year-old," Keith rolled his eyes and Lance caught his gaze from across the table. 

He saw Keith's lips twitch and he grinned painfully before they both looked away to prevent themselves from laughing. He knew their argument was behind them. He passed his dish to Hunk and stood to stretch his muscles. 

"How's Tanda?"

"Oh, she's great!" Pidge smiled at Hunk and shoved another spoonful down. "She's absolutely gorgeous, I've never seen anything like her! I've noticed there are blue stripes that occasionally glow at night but I haven't figured out the reason why yet. I can show you after if you want?"

 _That's my cue to leave._  Leaving the room as Pidge and Hunk conversed the snake that had tried to murder him, oblivious to the lack of his presence, he took the familiar route to his bedroom to change from his pyjamas. Standing at the bottom of his bed, he pulled off his shirt and threw it into the basket in the corner of his room. He changed his underwear and jeans and turned with a clean shirt in his hand to find Tanda entering his room. 

  "Oh shit!" he cursed and jumped back on to his bed. The shirt he was holding buried her but he still pressed further into the wall. "Shit, shit, shit! I'm going die!"  

Tanda shook the shirt off her head and glared at him. Her eyes glowed red as she slithered closer, flicking the end of her tail into the room before the door could close on it. His chest constricted and he tried to swallow a lump in his throat that wouldn't go down.

"Help!" he shouted, stumbling as he tried to move away. His foot caught in his covers and he fell. "Guys!"

Tanda stalked closer, savouring the sight of Lance squirming away from her, frantically pulling at the cover wrapped around him. He barely had time to react as she lurched forward and sunk her fangs into his shoulder and screamed as her tongue pierced his skin, carving into his shoulder.

Searing fiery bursts pulsated around the wound, intensifying with each flick of the tongue, jarring and brutal. He lashed out and fell off the bed, which only amplified the pain and caused black mists to swirl at the edges of his mind. That feeling was there again.  _It's coming._

"Lance! What's wrong?" Tanda detached herself and slithered under Keith's legs, through the door and into Pidge's room. "The fuck?"

"Keith! I-I- fuck," he exclaimed. He clutched his shoulder and tried to count to ten.  _12 -3 4 56- 3 4 5678 -1 2-_

"Let me look." Keith moved forward, pulled his bloodied hand from his shoulder and gasped. "Healing pod. Now."

He grunted as Keith pulled him up and leaned into him as they walked. Keith's arm slid around his waist to keep him upright. "Is it that bad?"

Crying out in pain, Lance curled in on himself - Keith struggling to support him - and clutched at his head, legs falling from underneath him as his vision turned black before returning. They reached the medical bay and he steadied himself against the door whilst Keith prepared a pod.

He tried to see what damage had been done but the bite was too close to his neck. He moved to a mirror.  _Holy shit._ Just above his collarbone was a carving of a circle with a slightly curled 'x' slicing through the middle of it, the ends twisting into his skin. Blood was slowly oozing out of the wound, a small but relentless flow of crimson, almost black, staining his chest. 

"What did it do to me?" He lifted his head to meet Keith's gaze and swallowed.

Keith shook his head and pulled him to the pod, gently pushing him into it and placing a hand on the glass as he activated it. "Sleep well."

\------------------

"This is  _last time_ I'm saying this," exasperated Keith as he sighed heavily. "The snake needs to go."

"You can't blame her for this!" Pidge croaked, cradling Tanda to her chest, and buried her face into the green scales.

"I saw it slither from Lance's room. And he certainly didn't have that carving at breakfast."

Pidge pursed her lips and Keith crossed his arms as she refused to say any more. Hunk examined his friend in the pod, scanning over his sleeping face. He was relieved that Lance was finally getting some sleep, but the carving was definitely not strengthening that feeling.

"Maybe there's another explanation," Pidge whispered. "I can't lose you, Tanda. I can't lose you too."

Keith sighed and turned hopefully to Shiro who matched him with a concerned gaze. They stared at each other whilst Pidge muttered to the snake. Shiro couldn't just take that away from her..."Coran, do you have any idea of what this is?" he finally asked, giving in to Keith's frown and breaking eye contact. That boy could make a grown man cry with his glare.

"I'm afraid not," the Altean confessed and entered a number sequence into a screen. "We may have to contact Slav-"

"NO!" came a chorus from three of the paladins. 

"Let's... _not_ have a repeat of yesterday," Hunk rubbed the back of his neck and grinned sheepishly at Coran.

"But if it will help Lance, then Shiro can just put up with it," Keith asserted. "Or he can just leave the room."

"But-"

" _No_. Lance would do it for any of us, so why won't you do it for him?"

The others stared at him guiltily, not one of them having an answer and Keith huffed before turning his head away from them. They'd done it for him when he ate that weird berry...why was Lance any different?

"We will see how he is when he comes out of the pod," Coran said and Shiro hesitantly looked away from Keith. "Pidge, did you pick up on anything during your research?"

"No, Tanda is as soft as anything. From her scales to her fangs. She can't penetrate anything, I tested her."

"Well  _obviously_ , the tests are inaccurate," Keith grunted.

The sound of the pod opening alerted the team to Lance's awakening. They watched hopefully as the door slip open, expecting him to step out and declare his grand entrance by making a horrendous one-liner or a terrible pun. Not one person knew how to handle the situation when Lance collapsed into the closest person and screamed.  

"Lance?" Hunk tightened his grip on Lance, ignoring the way his fingers dug into his skin. Immediately recognising the behaviour, he ran a hand through Lance's hair and pulled him into his lap - the fastest way he knew how to calm him down. "I'm here. It's okay. It's just a dream, like all the others, okay? It's not real."   

"This has happened before?" Coran questioned, scrutinizing Lance's shivering form.

Hunk nodded, never taking his eyes from Lance as he rocked him back and forth. "It's okay, Lance. It's me Hunk. I need you to wake up for me."

Keith watched Hunk whisper reassurances to Lance from the sidelines, eyes wide and brain processing the image. Is this what he had heard in the early hours of the morning coming from the room beside his? All the times he had wished he could slam Lance's face into the floor when he heard those small screams and mumblings...Keith felt a twinge of something he couldn't describe and turned his head away from the two paladins, unable to look at Lance's shivering form any longer.

It was five minutes later when Lance's whimpering finally calmed down.

"Lance, hey buddy," Hunk smiled softly as Lance fluttered his eyes open, breathing heavily and taking in his surroundings with wide eyes. "You're okay."

"Hunk?"

"Yeah, it's me."

"Keith. Where's Keith?" Lance pushed away from Hunk and choked on a sob when he found Keith standing with his arms crossed over his chest, leaning back on his left leg. "Keith!"

"Lance." Keith nodded.

"Keith."

He ignored Keith's backing away as he half-crawled, half-stumbled toward him and pulled him in for a hug. He ran his fingers through Keith's hair and over his back, just feeling his existence, convincing himself that he was alive.

 _He lay on the ground, his face closed in a grimace,_   _ashen complexion contrasting his matted, black hair..._ He pulled Keith's face into his hands and turned it sideways.

 _The blood that had spewed from the severed neck gathered in pools around the corpse, staining his armour with red residue_. He ran a finger down his neck and shivered. 

_No, Keith is here. Keith is alive. It was just a dream._

"It wasn't real..." he muttered.

"Lance, what are you doing?" Keith snapped him back into reality and he pushed away harshly before coughing.  _Play it cool, play it cool, play it cool..._

"Sorry, must be the lack of oxygen in the pod." He chuckled and turned to face the rest of the team, shooting them finger guns. "So, how long were you suffering from lack of vitamin me for?"

 _Nailed it._  

"Almost the entire day!" Hunk stood and pulled him in for a hug again. "I'm glad you're okay."

"Hey, a little snake bite will never stop the Lancinerator!" He glanced at the others but none of them seemed to laugh. Shiro avoided eye contact, Allura smiled sadly and Pidge was nowhere to be found.  _What did I do this time?_

"I wouldn't be so sure," announced Coran. "The pod didn't do anything except stop the bleeding. There have been no traces of poison or any other substances, and I'm not entirely sure what the symbol represents...though I have seen it somewhere before."

"It's just another, awesome battle scar, right? Nothing to worry about." He brushed Hunk's hesitant hand off his shoulder and rubbed his arm. "Now, does anybody have a shirt? It's freezing in here."

\-------

It was three weeks later when Lance heard Keith crying again during a midnight raid of the kitchen. He sighed before placing the bowl of his own creation and a glass of water on the floor and gently knocking on Keith's door.

"Keith?"

"Lance?"

"Will you let me in?"

He heard shuffling before Keith appeared in front of him, holding onto the door lazily and hanging his head low. The first thing he noticed was black, fingerless gloves.  _Wait...did he sleep in them too?_

Keith stepped aside to let him in; he sat on Keith's bed and patted the spot beside him, wondering how he was being so confident. This was the first time he had ever seen Keith's bedroom, let alone been there when he was so vulnerable. For all he knew, Keith was about to murder him for sitting on his bed without permission. But Keith only sat beside him and continued to stare at the floor, occasionally sniffing.

"Talk to me, Keith," he whispered.

"It's nothing."

"Keith, you're crying. It's obviously something."

Keith brought his knees to his chest and let out a shaky breath. "Why do you care so much anyway?"

"Maybe I care about you more than you think I do..." he muttered as he thought back to his dream during his time in the healing pod.  _Don't think about it._

Instead of pushing him for an answer, Lance stayed beside him. Sometimes silence was the best way to comfort someone when you had no idea how. Keith was never one to share his feelings anyway and Lance pondered the thought that he might have been the only one that Keith had let see him this vulnerable. Maybe aside from Shiro.

The silence wasn't uncomfortable but it wasn't entirely comfortable either. 

"Thank you," Keith finally whispered and Lance offered him a small smile.

He placed a hand on his head and ruffled his hair after standing to stretch his legs. Mentally cringing at his actions, he rubbed the back of his neck and refused to describe Keith as cute when he stared at him with bewilderment and a slight blush.

"Make sure to drink the water and eat something. I noticed you haven't been eating much."

"You've been watching me?"

He paused at the doorway before smirking over his shoulder at Keith who was still looking up at him from behind his knees. "Lava is hot, you can't blame me for observing my rival." And with that, he left.


	4. Chapter Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 3,011 words

"Alright, paladins," Coran shouted in his usual happy morning voice. "Your job is to survey the are area only! No initiating battle unless it is absolutely necessary."

"Where are we exactly?" Pidge looked up from her seat at the Green Lion's foot, wiring a gadget Lance didn't care to ask about.

"We are at Planet Qeonerth, home of the Nifl," he replied and twirled the end of his moustache.

"One more time," said Lance.

"Planet Qeonerth," Coran repeated, slower this time. "Slav said-"

"-Slav said-"

"Slav said that in all dimensions, the Nifl is a huge asset in our battle against Zarkon," Coran continued and entered an Altean sequence into the Castle's control panel after glancing at Shiro with a raised eyebrow. "Also, if you find any Ninerth Qeoil Liver, I need some for the kitchen!"

"Good luck Paladins," Princess Allura waltzed into the room, her dress fanning out behind her. "I shall see you all when you return."

"Goodbye princess," Shiro smiled and entered the Black Lion to avoid Lance's smirk. 

 

"Hey, beautiful," Lance chuckled as Blue nudged him and patted her nose. "Let's go for a ride."  

\-----

"What the  _hell_ was that?"

The team had just returned from forming a new alliance. But, through a method they absolutely didn't expect.

"What was what?"

"Coran...you just sent us to a planet where they  _voluntarily_ jump into a  _fire_ and no one bats an eyelid!" Shiro pulled at his hair, momentarily forgetting that everyone was watching him as he paced back and forth in the control room.

Lance caught Keith's eye.

"You have never met another species like that before?" Coran mused, twisting his moustache between his fingers. "Strange."

Shiro scoffed and Lance took that as his cue to leave - Keith followed him with his eyes until the door closed behind him. Shiro had only ever lost his temper once before, and he didn't want to relive that experience ever again. Although it was amusing to watch his leader completely lose his shit, it also frightened the fuck out of him. 

He stalked through the doors, leaving the voices of the others behind him as he walked through the castle. Rolling his shoulder, he took a few deep breaths and tried to steady himself against the wall. The pain had an obnoxious warmth. He placed a hand on his shirt to make sure it wasn't soaked with blood and winced as he felt the sharp sting of the snake's tongue again even though she was in confinement.

He knew he should talk to someone about it, but who would listen? Pidge adored the beast. Hunk would worry too much. Shiro would probably tell him to not worry about it or say that he was overreacting. Coran already said he didn't know anything about it and the Princess was too busy with planning how to save the Universe. And as for Keith, he would probably start a campaign to kill the snake and go on a rampage which would disrupt the entire team and possibly cause World War 3 -  _fuck the Galra_.

He sighed and forced himself to walk to his bedroom. He couldn't see anything wrong with his shoulder aside from the usual red scarring so he brushed it off as an ache of his muscle. Taking a final glance in the mirror before pulling his shirt on, he ran a hand across his face and tilted his head back to look at the ceiling.

"Red marks on blue skin, who would have guessed?"

\---------

The forest was ancient, its canopy so dense that Lance could only see the occasional streak of sunlight that barely touched the floor. Thick vines were slowly taking away the last remnants of the temple that stood in the centre and he marvelled as contrasting elements combined to create a beautiful wintry woodland. The trunks of fallen trees bared icicles longer than his hand, no two identical - more enchanting than any work of man. Every twig and blade of grass glowed a seafoam green through the icy haze of raising snowflakes - though there seemed to be no temperature at all.

There were birds hidden in the trees above, calling, hopping from branch to branch, contributing to the enchanting symphony of the forest. Golden leaves danced to an unheard beat, whispering as Lance walked past:  _He's here! Aquira found him!_ ; the words were inaudible to him; he was too mesmerised by the blue flames flickering across a red river as he followed it toward the temple. 

Light shone through the wintry branches, shadowy arms stretching across the ancient ruins. The columns were the only complete structures, everything else had worn and crumbled - their decay the only marker of time in a place of uncounted days. 

Upon entering what was left of the temple, he noticed a figure perched on a column centred between two fallen walls - a masterpiece showcase - and when it twisted toward him, Lance's breathing hitched. With soft, translucent-blue skin, white hair, and sparkling sapphire eyes, the alien before him was by far the most attractive girl he had ever seen. 

The snow billowed around the white Puffy High Neck Draped A-Line Party Gown that fell to her knees, patterned with baby blue lace and complete with small winter boots. She smiled softly and walked over to him, her hair trailing behind her like a cape. When she spoke, however, Lance couldn't help but feel like he knew her.

"Is it really you?" Her voice was gentle, hopeful.

"I-uh, me?" he stuttered.  _Fuck, Lance. Get it together._

"Come here," she beckoned him with a small, dainty finger painted to match the colour of her eyes. She raised a hand to his cheek and closed her eyes.

Too stunned to do anything, Lance watched as her lips turned upwards with every passing moment. His hands trembled as the same feeling he had when Tanda bit him coursed through his veins. "Stop-" he pushed her away. "Stop. I - what's going on? Where am I?"

"You already know the answer to that, Lance." She smirked.  _Wait_.

"How do you know my name?" he took a step away from her and gripped the bottom of his jacket. "Who are you?"

The girl tilted her head and flashed him a playful smile. "Just as I knew you, you know me."

Lance frowned. Something about her was definitely familiar but he was one hundred percent positive he had never seen her in his entire life. "Aquira?"  _How the fuck did I know that?_

"It  _is_ you!" she beamed.  _What the hell is happening?_ She took another step forward and latched onto him like a leech, wrapping her arms around his body and crushing him in her hold.  _She's strong for someone who looks so fragile..._ "I knew I would find you! Oh, I have waited so long for this day!"

"What are you talking about?"  _Why does it even matter? It's just a dream. Enjoy it while it lasts before the nightmares come back._

"For over twenty thousand years we've been searching for you! You're the one that can save us all, Lance! Or should I call you by your real name, Monse?" -  _the fuck? -_ Aquira pulled away from him and flicked his forehead with a childish grin. "You're  _exactly_ what I imagined you would be like! Are you ready to come home now? I can take you if you want!"

"Okay, so I've had weird dreams before but this...this is new," he mused as he glanced at his surroundings again.  This time, he noticed small crystals embedded in the temple ruins, much like the ones he had taken from Ryffo.

Aquira raised an eyebrow, stepping into his line of vision. "You think this is a dream?" She shook her head. "This place is very much real. It is my home, or, at least, part of my home. Yours too."

Something was uncomfortably familiar and Lance itched with a desire to scream, shout, move,  _anything_. He turned away from her and placed a hand on his head. "This is just a weird dream. I'm going to close my eyes and when I open them again, you'll be gone."

He sarcastically saluted her and closed his eyes before opening them again to see Aquira impassively staring at him.  _Nonono..._ He tried again.  _Wake up, wake up..._ This time, Aquira laughed. His breathing quickened as the leaves started whispering again:  _he's here! We found him!_

"Maybe it's sleep paralysis..." he muttered to himself and Aquira held him firmly to stop his pacing.

"Lance, listen to me. This isn't a dream." - A distant voice called his name - "You need to know the truth." - It called him again, more desperate.  _Keith?_  - "But before you do you also need to know there's something evil inside you." 

 _Evil? - Lance!_  -  _What the_  -  _Lance you need to wake up_  -  _fuck?_

"The crystals, Lance! Remember the crystals!" 

Lance jerked when a hand slammed against his cheek. He groaned and rolled over, yelling when he fell to the floor. 

"Oh god, you scared me for a moment there."

He rubbed his head and opened his eyes, immediately noting he was in the Control Room. None of the others were to be seen, only Keith as he offered him a hand and helped him to his feet. 

"What...happened?"  _So it was just a dream after all._

"You fell asleep and you started...I don't know, glowing? You were heating up and unresponsive to anything I tried." Keith dropped his hand and stared at him for another minute before he decided it was safe enough to move away. "Are you okay?"

 _Glowing?_  "Yeah, yeah, I'm fine," he replied and then smirked at Keith. "And by glowing I think you mean I was radiating beauty. I knew you loved my looks, Keithy boy~"

"In your dreams, Pretty Boy," Keith scoffed.  _Again with the Pretty Boy?_  "And no. You were  _literally_ glowing. Like  _illuminating the dark room_  glowing."

"That sounds pretty cool," Lance joked and looked around the room again, waiting for his eyesight to adjust.  _Huh, didn't realise it was dark._

Keith grunted and Lance finally looked at him. His head was turned to the side but he could still make out the small frown etched on his face and the bags under his eyes. He sighed,  _his sleep schedule is worse than Pidge's._ Rubbing his arms, he realised how low the temperature was and pulled his jacket tighter around himself.

"Lance?"

"Mhm?" 

"How's your shoulder?" 

What should he say?  _Stings like a bitch. Knocks me sick with dizziness. Gives me major headaches to the point where I sometimes scream into my pillow because of the pain. Probably the thing that's causing these weird ass dreams. I'm also like sixty percent certain it did poison me but Altean technology doesn't have it recorded yet so I'm just slowly dying without anyone knowing..._

"Fine," he settled for.

"That's good. If it starts playing up or whatever let me know, okay?" He gave him a soft smile.

Lance agreed and stared at him as he nodded a goodnight and left.  _He's hiding something._  He was positive, for Keith wasn't usually that openly caring about the team and the others were still avoiding him since Tanda attacked him. Maybe he had freaked them out with his nightmare and Keith just felt sorry for him.  _No, Lance. That's not true. Keith cares about you._

He shook his head and decided to explore the Castle, knowing he wouldn't be able to sleep. Stumbling across a desolate room branching off from a corridor connecting to the Hangars he pushed open the door and cautiously stepped inside.  Each step sent a vortex of dust into the previously stagnant air. It lay thickly like winters first snow, but instead of being a gorgeous white, it was a depressing grey; Lance grimaced at the staleness of the room. 

The entire back wall was a window, coated in grime. It was spacious and shaped like an egg with the roof drawing together near the top. He immediately set to work - running to find Coran's stash of cleaning supplies and balanced a broom between his legs as he walked. He sneezed and choked a few times, which reminded him to get Pidge or Hunk to check out the ventilation system, but continued despite the burning of his throat. 

Once he had finished, he stood in the doorway and sighed, impressed with how well he had cleaned it when he didn't even bother making his bed in a morning.  _Crystals, Lance. Remember the crystals._ He widened his eyes.  _Of course!_

Sprinting back to his room and trying to suppress his idiotic grin, he gathered a bag full of random items and snuck back out again. It was going to take some time, but he would perfect the room. It would be his gift to the team, seeing as how he didn't necessarily fit in anywhere else. He may not have been exceptionally good at fighting or diplomatic affairs but he  _was_ an expert in flair and decoration. 

\-------

"Where's Keith?" he asked as he walked into the kitchen halfway through pulling on his jacket.

"Space, probably."

"No shit, Pidge." He rolled his eyes as she shrugged and sent him a cocky grin.

"Lance, language!"

"Sorry, dad!" He smirked and took his seat at the table

"Did you just call me dad?" Shiro said, perplexed.

"Of course not. Why would I call you that?"

"Oh," Shiro furrowed his eyebrows and resumed eating his breakfast, waving a hand in dismissal at the feigned looks of concern the team were giving him.

Pidge smirked at Hunk who gave her a thumbs up and slid a bowl across the table to her. Lance sat peacefully, head resting in his palm as he considered his options to pass the day. He tapped his fingers on the table to the beat of an old song his mother sang to him.

"Hey, Pidgey?" Pidge hummed and he turned his head to look at her.  _What better time to show them?_ "Do we have any games?"

"I think I came across a weird Altean game in the lab the other day, and - if I remember correctly - Hunk picked some up from the Alien Mall the other day." She shovelled a spoon into her mouth and pushed her glasses further up her nose. "Why?"

"I think it's time for a little team bonding that isn't fighting." He smiled and jumped from his seat. "Shiro, gather everyone and meet me near the Hangars in ten minutes. I'll go find Keith."

He didn't stay to witness their reactions and ran through the Castle corridors, careful to not trip over his feet as he immediately headed for the training room. 

"Yo, Keith!" 

Keith continued to fight the Altean Training Bot, either ignoring his calls or having not heard him. He swung his sword relentlessly and easily matched the level as their weapons clashed. The Gladiator knocked the Bayard from his hand, sending it halfway across the floor, and lunged forward.

Lance's jaw dropped when Keith bent backwards until he could pass through the Gladiator's legs, slid across the floor, grabbed his Bayard and thrust it into its back, panting heavily.  _Show off._  Nevertheless, he clapped and smirked when Keith snapped his head toward him, flustered.

"Not bad, Mullet." He offered him a hand.

Keith scowled and smacked his hand away, pushed himself up, and deactivated his Bayard. "What do you want?" 

"I've come to kidnap you from your date. We are all doing some team-bonding and your presence, though annoying, is required." He pointed a finger at his chest and gestured to the door.

"Just let me shower first." Keith sighed. 

\--

"Woah, Lance did you do all of this?" Hunk marvelled and ran his hand across a collage of pictures pinned to the wall. "How did you even find this place?"

The pictures were those Lance had taken on a device Pidge had built and he had somehow managed to 'print' them and arrange them into a storyline of some sort. Bean bags were scattered around the room, one for each team member in their colours, and the crystals he had embedded into the floor glistened under the light from the stars outside.

"I couldn't sleep a few weeks ago and stumbled across it. It was filthy but I cleaned it up, yeah." He rubbed the back of his neck as the whole team smiled at him. "I thought we could use it as a place to go if we needed 'time-out' or something. We used to have it at home and you're my family now so...yeah. I wanted to share it with you guys."

"Oh, Lance." Princess Allura smiled and opened her arms to embrace him.

"That was very sweet of you Lance. I love it," Shiro praised and Lance grinned stupidly as Allura let him go.

"I'm proud of you, buddy." Hunk hugged him and Pidge squealed and threw herself into her green bean bag, immediately sinking into it so the others could only see her hair, arms, and legs sticking out.

Keith stayed beside the photos, running a finger along the smiles of the other paladins. He didn't feature in most of them, but in each one he did, he wasn't smiling like the others. Maybe there was a small turn up at the corner of his mouth, but it was nothing like the wide, energetic smile Lance wore on almost every picture.

"Okay, so!" Pidge's voice was muffled as she crawled her way out from her bean bag. "What game are we playing first?"

"There's something here called 'Drama Queen'?" Coran suggested as he rooted through an old chest.

"Perfect for Lance," Keith muttered.

"I heard that! You're going down, Kogane."

"What you gonna do? Pummel me to the ground?" he smirked and Lance struggled for a response, puffing his cheeks out a little. "Try me, Pretty Boy."

_Again with the Pretty Boy!?_


	5. Chapter Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oof
> 
> 3,589 words
> 
> Enjoy
> 
> Trigger Warning: this is mainly a battle that may trigger or upset some people. It isn't /too/ graphic though but be aware that there is mentions of blood and pain.

Lance tried to not think about the...dream he had last night. He really did. But that proved to be difficult when Keith was sat across from him at the table wearing a skin-tight black shirt and his head was hanging lower than his broad shoulders so he had a perfect view of the muscles in his arms. Inevitably, the team had been expecting him to tease Keith in some way, but he was too caught up in trying not to think about him that he couldn't even tease him about his bed head - because it just made him look ten times hotter.   

Keith lifted his head and he diverted his eyes quickly and shoved a spoonful of goo into his mouth. It was obvious he was avoiding Keith, he knew that. But he knew no one would know why and he would just brush it off as being tired and not wanting to start an argument - or something. He noticed Keith's sceptical glance as he opened his mouth to say something but was cut off by the alarm.  _Saved by the bell!_

He cheered, jumping up to follow everyone to the control room to see what mission they were going on this time.

"I understand you never turn down a fight, my boy," Coran called as he and Allura lead the team through the corridor. "But is screaming necessary?"

"Of course! I can impress beautiful aliens with my fighting skills." He grinned and flexed his arms with a wink.

"Stop implying you're hot. The only thing you can turn on is the microwave," Keith teased him as he walked behind him, beside Shiro.

"But we don't have a microwave?"

"Exactly."

He narrowed his eyes at the smirk Keith flashed him as he sprinted ahead of him, all his previous thoughts forgotten as he chased after the retreating form of the Red Paladin.

"Slow down you two!" Shiro's pleaded, followed by a defeated sigh when Lance ran into the door after Keith abruptly stopped and tripped him.

Once they are all situated in the control room, Allura and Coran motioned for them to sit down, having already established the source of the alarm.

"We have received a distress call from Lucliathea reporting a Galran squadron incoming," said Allura.

"Lucliathea is a known rebel force. The Galra aren't going to give it up easily," added Coran, a hint of worry in his voice.

Shiro nodded, scanned the holographic -  _files?_  - pulled up in front of Allura, and moved to the entrance to Black's hanger. "Neither will we. Come on, team, let's go!"

The descent to Blue was just as exhilarating as it always was. Lance still smiled when he made his way down the zip-line; he still marvelled at Blue as she sat proudly in her hanger and he still felt like his heart would burst at the fact that he was the one she chose to pilot her. He really had become attached. 

Blue purred as he sat at the controls and whispered a 'good morning' to her. He placed a hand in front of him and wiggled his fingers slightly before grabbing the handles and flying to meet the others.

"When we arrive, we need to assess the situation first. I don't want any of you flying straight into battle blindly," Shiro's voice warned through the communicator.

"Keith," Lance chimed, causing a snicker from both Pidge and Hunk and a sigh from Shiro. When they penetrated the atmosphere, he manoeuvred Blue into a flight sequence of backflips, rolls and turns with a gleeful shout.

Keith's voice crackled in his ear, "At least I know how to fly and not make a fool of myself." His tone was lighter than usual, he realised.

"At least I know how to have fun and don't risk my team's lives because of a stupid move," he bit back but started to fly peacefully beside Hunk. Keith was right, in a way. He needed to start taking things seriously, and then, maybe, he would be good enough for the team.

"Both of you  _remember_ to stay focused," Shiro interrupted. "Stay alert, all of you."

After a few minutes of flying, the Galra fleet came into view.

"This is going to be harder than expected," Shiro said calmly, all of the lions stopping short of the first line of ships. The imposing fleet of Galran soldiers seemed infinite. Lance saw where two Galran ships have already been attacked, smoke rising from the remains scattered across the ground. There were more ships approaching and the rebels were outnumbered on the temporary battlefield below, many crying out as their comrades were slaughtered.  

"You must intervene! This battle is not in favour of the rebellion!" Allura's voice was panicked as she linked into the paladins' feed.

"We've got this, Princess. Hunk, provide cover on the ground. Pidge, you're with me distracting the oncoming ships. Keith, Lance, I need you two to disable those weapons."

"On it," Lance called as he caught up to Keith, who had already targeted the closest enemy. He scrutinized the surroundings and took note of the barrier protecting the main cannon. Feeding the information to Keith, he pulled Blue higher and flew above Red.

"You think you can cover my back, Lance?"

"Can't keep an eye on your own back, Mullet?"

"Lance, I'm being serious. Stop being a goofball for just one second, will you?" Keith growled and Lance winced slightly. He took a deep breath and scolded himself for joking around again.

"I've got your back, Keith."

He trailed his eyes over the surroundings again, pulled back, and shouted as the ship opened up and at least a couple dozen fighter jets flowed out, all focused on Red.

Expertly aiming Blue's freeze ray at the jets as Keith dodged their pursuits, he fired and wiped out almost half of the formation. Keith's grunt buzzed in his ear as Red was thrown into the side of the massive ship with a thumpthat sent chills down his spine. The ship's cannon aimed at Red and he immediately lurched Blue in that direction, landing on top of the cannon just as it began firing. The force of the landing threw the cannon back and the shots vibrated through Blue's claws clutching into the metal.

"How the hell did you get through the barrier?" blurted Keith as he disabled the canon with a final blow. Pondering Keith's question, he frowned as Blue sent him an unfamiliar sensation.

"Guess I'm just too awesome for the Galra's defence systems to keep out." He laughed, portraying an emotion that was the binary opposite of his true one. Keith must have noticed but he didn't comment on it.  _It's coming..._

"We have a problem," Hunk's voice broke in through the tense atmosphere. Lance shook his head and focused back on the mission at hand.

"What is it, Hunk?" Shiro's answered immediately.

"I'll let one of the rebels explain."

Lance's visuals cut as the image of a dear-like creature with waist-length orange hair filled his screen. She was beautiful, he noted.  _Get your head in the mission, Lance._

_"Paladins of Voltron, I am Pyka. Our leader has been captured. We are unable to reach the ship. Please, save her!"_

The ship under him crumbled, and he and Keith took flight once more as they positioned themselves back to back, ready to return any incoming attacks.

"Do you know where they are being kept?" Shiro asked, calm but urgent.

_"East, the third ship without the cannon. We've tried breaking through, but the Galra manage to defeat our troops from the ground before we get too close."_

Lance ended the visual so he could trace the ship. He found it was surrounded by single flight ships, soldiers on foot and also three other ships. "Shiro, what's the-" he couldn't even finish asking Shiro for the plan before a red blur rushed past him and toward the cluster.

Various shouts crowed the communications as everyone realized where Keith was going. Both Shiro and Lance raced after him, furious at, but used to, Keith's irrational behaviour.

"Keith! Stop! You can't just rush into things like this!" Shiro commanded but Red didn't falter as she neared the ships.

"We need to save them." Keith's voice was defiant and hard, and Lance had to push away the worries of heading straight for a Galran fleet, knowing Keith wasn't going to stop anytime soon.

"Keith, I said stop-" Shiro tried but Keith cut off his communicator and linked a video to Blue.

"Lance, cover Red for me," Keith ordered but still waited for his approval. By simply looking into his eyes and finding an emotion akin to pleading he knew he wouldn't take 'no' for an answer anyway and nodded. Keith smiled quickly and ended the video.

"Keith, wait!" he shouted as he watched Red thump against the top of the ship and open her jaw for Keith to run out.  _What the fuck, man? You're going to get killed!_  "Keith!"

"Lance, follow him! I'll cover Red and Blue. Pidge, Hunk, provide back up!" Pidge and Hunk joined Shiro and held off the ships so he could safely land Blue.

"Already on it, Shiro."

He recklessly ran after Keith, diving toward the cut-out hole and landed with a soft thud in the middle of a corridor.

"Keith, I'm on the ship. Where are you?" he managed to ask between breaths, running past fallen soldiers as he readied his Bayard.

"I told you to watch Red! Why did you follow me?" The sound of blasters in the background almost caused him to miss Keith's words.  _Please be okay..._

"I'm watching your back. I wasn't going to let you come down here alone." 

He winced as he heard Keith's sword connect with metal and a shot pull a gasp from the other line of the communicator. It was a few more minutes before Keith replied. "Lance...I need-"

"Left or right?" he cut him off and increased his speed once Keith whispered his answer. His footsteps echoed as he pounded down the corridor like a stampede of elephants, determined to reach Keith before it was too late. The sudden groan of pain from Keith pushed him to go faster and soon he could hear the fight without having to listen to Keith's communicator.  _Oh, thank god._

He turned the corner abruptly, immediately rolling to dodge a blast from a group of oncoming sentries. His shoulder crashed to the ground but he ignored the sharp twinge as he fired blindly at the soldiers. He heard a few of them fall to the ground and used the distraction to stand again and fire more shots. Lance's nerves were taut with apprehension, almost overwhelming him as he lifted himself onto a nearby ledge and scanned the group of Galra soldiers. He let out a breath he didn't know he was holding when he found Keith struggling against a Galra that had pinned him to the wall and aimed at its head and shot.

He watched as Keith righted himself again, tightened his grip on his Bayard and lunged at the other Galra. Covering from above, he wiped out the majority of the Galra and soon joined Keith. 

"If you get us killed, I'll kill you," he grumbled, his impatience evident as he and Keith stalked through empty corridors. Keith ignored his non-sensical comment as he crept through the door that opened to the Central Control.

The control room was empty with only a red light flashing on the panel. Keith ran to it, trusting Lance to cover him if any Galra suddenly appeared from the shadows. He kept guard as Keith messed with the system, tension radiating off him like steam from a freshly baked pie.

"Something's not right."

"Just bear with me, I've almost..."

Lance narrowed his eyes, willing his eyes to adjust to the looming shadows around the room, but saw nothing. He couldn't hear anything either.  _It's coming...Fuck, now's not the time for nightmare PTSD, thank you._

"Got it! I'm sending the location to you and the rest of the team now."

A holographic map popped up on his wrist a second later and he sighed with relief. They weren't far from where the prisoners were being kept. The estimated time for them to get there would be five minutes - if they ran.

"Shiro, don't kill me for switching you off earlier," Keith said as he switched his communications back on and motioned for Lance to follow him. "We are almost there, how are you holding up?"

Lance listened intently, running after Keith through the Galra ship, still aware of the eerily silent atmosphere. They drew closer to the location on the map, muscles tensed and prepared for the Galra more than likely guarding the hostages.  _It's coming._

"There are too many ships to fight off to protect both Red and Blue. Can one of you make it back to your Lion and help us? Pidge is taking serious damage."

"I'm fine! Just a few shots. Green can handle it, can't you?" Pidge defended and Green roared in agreement.

Lance's footsteps mellowed as he neared the final corner. He watched as Keith risked a peek around the wall and held up the number of Galra there. Four sentries. "Sorry, Shiro. We'll try to be quick."

They rounded the corner on Keith's count of three, Bayards at the ready. He managed to take down three sentries before his gun was shot out of his hand, the heat of the blast nearly burning the skin beneath his armour. Keith was immediately charging at the sentry that fired on him, slicing it with one swing of his sword. Scrambling for his Bayard, he shot blindly at more sentries charging through the doors.

 _"Pidge, to your left!"_  The sounds of blasts came through Pidge's side of the communicator and he grimaced, taking another shot at a close by Galra. 

Sweat rolling uncomfortably down his suit, he fired at more sentries, rolling his shoulder back painfully. He tried to listen for any sign of reassurance from Pidge that she was okay but his heartbeat was clouding his sense of hearing.  _It's coming, it's coming..._  He caught sight of Keith fighting his own a couple of feet away and shot a guard advancing behind him. However, taking time to protect Keith from behind meant that he didn't realise a soldier heading straight for him that tackled him to the ground.

He yelled as the Galra sliced his cheek with a knife and pressed his gun to the soldier's stomach and fired. He didn't like the way that the red stained his suit. Red wasn't his colour.  _It's coming. There's something evil inside of you. We found him! Come home. Lance, come home._

"You okay?" he heard Keith ask and nodded as he stood. The rest of the Galra had been annihilated and Keith's helmet had been smashed, a crack spreading across the front of his eyes.

"Pidge, what do we do?" Lance transmitted a scan of the door and sighed with relief when Pidge responded with a 'hold on a minute'. He leant against the wall and closed his eyes as the familiar sense of dizziness overcame him.  _Deep breaths._

"Are you sure you're okay?" He opened his eyes to find Keith glancing sideways at him, Bayard still clutched tightly in his hand.

"I'm fine, just a headache." Keith nodded but didn't take his eyes off him. Instead, he turned to face him and lowered his sword slightly.

"Thank you - for saving my life," he said. "And I'm sorry about what I said earlier. Sometimes we need an idiot on the team."

"Who are you and what have you done with Keith?" He chuckled and let Keith's slight insult slide. This was about as sentimental as Keith could get, and he was going to take what he could when it came to the hot-headed teen. "And saving your life is just something I do naturally. You're the one risking it so many times and having to have one of us come to the rescue. So really,  _you're_ the idiot."

Pidge's voice cut off any reply Keith would have made. "There! Now hurry- they are  _not_ happy with our little intrusion."

The door opened and Lance shivered at the sight of three rebels huddled in the corner of the dark room. Tiny eyes glared at him and he gave the most reassuring smile he could as he held a hand out and crouched to their level. These were  _kids_. "Don't worry, you're safe with us. We are the Red and Blue Paladins of Voltron, we're here to help."

"Hunk, we need you to blast through the side of the ship at our location so we can get these kids out of here," Keith spoke behind him and lowered his sword as not to frighten the rebel children.

"Working on it- give me two minutes."

"What are your names?" He kept his voice low as the three prisoners reached out and clung to him, burying their faces into his legs. He understood the surge of relief and tentative hope they were feeling and he pulled one into his arms and balanced them on his hip.

"I'm Claku," they told him and wrapped their arms around his shoulder. "These are my brother and sister, Pupsa and Hybow."

"Is this everyone? Is anyone hurt? Do you know where your leader is?" he asked in the voice he often used to calm his nephew - Kaiden - during a storm, looking over his shoulder at Keith who was watching him closely.

Claku spoke again, pressing his face into Lance's neck. "This is all of us. We can move, yes. And Leader Luci already escaped. We heard the guards talking about it but she didn't know we were here."

"Okay. Thank you." Lance ran a hand through Claku's messy hair and returned his gaze to the other two aliens - he really had no idea what their species were called. "I'm going to need one of you to climb on my shoulders whilst I carry the other two. There is going to be a bit of a commotion in a minute but don't worry, it's my friend, Hunk, okay? He's here to help too."

The aliens nodded and one of them - Hybow, he guessed - climbed onto his back and settled on his shoulders. Being an uncle and big brother to many, he easily stood with the kids gripped firmly, his Bayard stored back in his suit.

"Alrighty, let's get you out of here." He followed Keith out of the room just as a rumble sounded and a large hole in the metal was ripped out to reveal the Yellow Lion. Yellow poked his muzzle through the hole, opened, and Pyka ran to them immediately.

"MAMA!" The three kids cried and scrambled away from Lance and into Pyka's arms.

"Claku! Hybow! Pupsa! What are you three doing here? I thought I told you to stay at home with daddy?" fretted Pyka as she pressed kisses to each of their foreheads and pulled them into the Yellow Lion. He knew he shouldn't, but he suddenly felt jealous and started to crave his own family - just wanting to go home and wake up to realise it was all just one big nightmare.  _Come home, Lance._

The tightness in his chest finally eased when Keith placed a hand on his shoulder and cast him a worried look. 

"Nobody is injured, and they said your leader already escaped but she didn't know they were there," he informed Pyka and she thanked him before racing back up the steps to find where she had left her children.

"I didn't realise you were so good with kids," Keith said when he could finally find his voice.

"I come from a big family. It's hard not to be good with them when you practically have them swinging off you every moment of the day." His laugh was affectionate yet bitter as he rolled his shoulders, effectively brushing Keith's hand off, and started walking back to where they came in. Hunk had already pulled away with Yellow and was taking the rebels to safety. "We should head back."

"We're heading back, what's the update, Shiro?" Keith turned away from him as they ran back through the ship's corridors.

"They seem to be retreating," came Shiro's alleviated response. "We're all good up here."

"Yeah! We  _beat_ their asses!" Pidge cheered and Lance found a smile forming on his face.

They walked swiftly back to their Lions but slowed their pace, knowing that the only task left was make sure everyone was treated medically and reunited with their families. And neither of them were particularly thrilled at that idea.

"See you on the other side, loser," Keith smirked before racing ahead and pulling himself out of the Galra ship.

He watched Keith go with something tugging at his chest. The realisation that he had recklessly followed him into an almost impossible battle dawned on him and he groaned, running a hand through his hair as Red took off and disappeared from sight. _Is there anything I wouldn't do for that guy? I'm pretty sure I'm doing more reckless shit to save his ass._

He looked to his left and, for a second, a flash of translucent skin and sapphire eyes caught his eye - white hair flowing in the wind before it disappeared.  _Come home, Lance._


	6. Chapter Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1,975 words

Lance collapsed onto the couch, adrenaline still pumping through his veins from the recent battle. They had fought three battles in the space of five days, never really having the time to fully calm down before they were launched into another and he was still buzzing. Pidge and Hunk were excitedly swapping details about how they programmed the Galra ships to turn on each other with words he couldn't understand, Shiro was talking with Coran and Allura, and Keith was sat beside him simply staring ahead.   

He tapped his leg excitedly, adding in forgotten details about how Shiro had charged through twenty soldiers and taken them all out in one go, highlighting the way his shirt tore in half and left him shirtless. Unfortunately, Shiro had replaced it once they returned back to the Castle.

"Lance, your gay is showing," Pidge teased and laughed as Shiro raised an eyebrow, sending his cheeks bright red.

"I'm not gay, I'm  _bisexual_ ," he stressed, avoiding looking at Shiro even though he knew he had the upper hand knowing his crush on Allura.

Letting the conversation drop, they began to talk about random things they enjoyed or complain about the lack of chocolate in space. Lance smiled and rolled his shoulder, still feeling pain where the mark had begun to burn once more. Some of his energy was diminished and channelled into confusion when a weight pressed against him and the burning ceased. He realised Keith had leaned into him, almost casually, and now his head was resting on his shoulder.   

Shiro had been watching with his eyebrow raised and Lance gave him a look as if to say  _'Don't ask me'_  before glancing over Keith's features. His eyes were barely open yet his arms were still folded across his chest in what the team called 'Keith Style'. He remembered how exhausted Keith became after a battle, usually retreating to his room after three hours of being back. But since they hadn't been able to rest properly; he guessed the sudden lack of energy had finally hit Keith.  

He relaxed a little so that Keith could settle against him and hopefully catch up on some lost sleep without being too uncomfortable. He caught Shiro's eye again and didn't know what to make of the small smile on his face as he watched the two. 

"Do you think we're going to have to launch into battle anytime soon?" Pidge yawned and rubbed her eyes. "I'm too tired to even think about staying up all night on my computer. And  _that's_ saying something."

"I'm not sure, Pidge," Allura smiled softly. "Why don't you go to bed. It's been a long day and I don't want you falling asleep in here. It gets cold at night."

"You're such a mum." She rolled her eyes and stretched as she stood. "But, yeah. I'm gonna hit the bed, or however that idiom goes."

Pidge waved and left the room, yawning again and Hunk cooed at her. "She's adorable! Like a little kitten."

"Yeah, a kitten that will claw your eyeballs out if you get too close," Lance commented and lifted his hands to his face to emphasize his point, forgetting about the person sleeping on his shoulder.

"I forget how young she is sometimes," Shiro sighed and brushed the tuft of white hair from his face. "She shouldn't have to deal with all this."

A chorus of agreement came from the paladins and Keith stirred. He rubbed his eyes, ruffled his hair and yawned as he lifted his head from Lance's shoulder. Lance panicked and decided to blow it off as a joke before Keith killed him.

"Was that a bonding moment too, Mullet?" He smirked and Keith shoved his shoulder with a glare and stormed out of the room. "Geez, I know he isn't a morning person but if that's how he wakes up after a nap then  _count me out_  as his personal body pillow."

Shiro chuckled and shook his head. "He's always been grumpy. And you should know better than to tease him about showing affection, Lance."

"Yeah something is definitely going on between you two," he gestured his hand towards Shiro and Allura. "You're both acting like parents tonight. Anything you want to share with...half the team?"

"Bed. Now," Shiro ordered and stepped away from the Princess; Lance wouldn't have noticed it if he weren't watching so closely but he was sure Allura frowned. He smirked at Shiro's red face and called 'goodnight' as he made his way to his bedroom, looking forward to being able to get some sleep.

\------------

"KEITH! Keeeith. Keithy-boi."

"What do you want?" Keith scowled and threw his water bottle at him.

"We're going on an adventure!"

"Lance, it's 2 am. Go back to bed. How did you even get into my room?" Keith yawned and sat upright, though Lance knew he hadn't really been sleeping and had been staring at the knife he thought he hid so well from the others.

"But Keith!" he whined and sat at the bottom of his bed. "Come on, it'll be fun."

"This is stupid," Keith growled but sat up anyway. He noticed he was still fully clothed and practically dragged him out of his room and towards Blue's hanger.

"Listen to me," he said when they were situated in Blue's cockpit, having motioned for Keith to sit beside him in a chair that had conveniently appeared. "The Castle has stopped moving, obviously, and we are in the Mourotore district. So, guess what that means!"

"That there are more aliens you want to shamelessly flirt with?" Keith rubbed his face with his hands. Even though he hadn't slept he was still tired and could hardly gather enough energy to keep up with Lance's giddiness.

"What? No. It  _means_ that there is an ocean nearby!" he grinned as he flew Blue out of the hanger and toward a neighbouring planet. "I scanned the planets with Blue and this is the closest one that has an ocean. A  _real_ ocean, Keith!"

Keith had never quite understood why Lance had constantly cried over not being able to see an ocean ever again, but he knew how much it meant to him and, for that reason, he didn't call him out on how stupidly excited he was.

"Why are you bringing me?" Keith asked instead but backtracked when Lance frowned. "I mean, I'm Red, you're Blue."

"I guess I could have brought Hunk..." he mused. "We always make plans to camp out at the ocean for a week when we finally go back to Earth. Oh god, I am a horrible person for not bringing him. Fuck, that's such a shitty thing to do-"

"You're just excited, you're not a bad person. But I'm glad you dragged me along, I couldn't sleep anyway," Keith reassured him and watched as Blue landed perfectly at the end of a cliff. Lance nodded before taking a deep breath.

"Race you!" He grinned, jumped out of his seat and ran from Blue's mouth. Sprinting across the beach, he had never felt any closer to Earth as he did at that moment. 

He felt like he was walking through an airy womb of sky and sound. The sea was a cerulean-blue and the beach seemed to be immersed in earthshine-gold. The mermaid's call of the waves reached out to him, luring him to the copper-bottomed depths. He cast his eyes out to the sea, observing the silver horizon. The waves in the distance were rhythmic and mesmerising, and he sighed, wishing his family were here to see it too.

He guessed he would have to savour the sea's indefinable beauty and let its immensity seep into his mind; hopefully, he could carry fragments of it home as a memory.

Lance almost laughed at how poetic he sounded. That was Reyna's thing.

"It's beautiful." Keith's voice brought him out of his temporary stupor. Looking at him, Lance ignored the depressing thoughts of not being there with his family and settled for a small smile. Keith was there instead.

"Yeah, it is," he whispered before removing his gaze from Keith and staring back at the ocean.

They sat side by side on the beach, running their hands through the grains of sand as they listened to the soft trill of the birds flying over the water. They didn't know what time it was on the planet, but as stars started to flicker in the sky, they guessed it was nearing night time - a few hours behind the simulated clock on the Castle.

"I've visited the beach almost every day since I was born but the one time I truly realised my love for the sea was when I was 13." He didn't know if Keith was listening but he didn't really care. "I was learning how to surf, and a wave caught me off guard. I was thrown under and could hear the screams of my family but I wasn't scared. I felt... _safe_. It was so beautiful, and this will sound really stupid but I swear the ocean was talking to me. The fish would nuzzle against me and there were vibrations as though I was feeling an echolocation from a dolphin or a whale. And I could  _breathe_ underwater. It was like second-hand nature."

He fell silent and dipped his feet into the water after discarding his shoes and socks. He rested his chin on his knees and smiled as the refreshing water tickled his toes.

"I would spend the majority of my time at the ocean, swimming with the fish and eventually venturing further when I convinced mama I was sturdy enough on my board... I miss them so much. I miss the way mama would sing to the kids when they couldn't sleep. I miss the way Reyna would make up silly rhymes about anything we threw at her on the spot. I miss the way I would fight with Marcelo over who got to eat the last cookie even though mama said she would just bake another batch. I miss braiding Slyvia's hair as she told me about how her day went at school..."

He stopped talking, swallowed, and led on his back, gazing at the sky above him. He reached a hand to the sky in an attempt to grasp one of the stars in his hand despite knowing it was impossible. Still, he spread his fingers and then closed his fist around one of the brightest stars.

"I miss feeling loved."

Small fingers adorned with a black glove laced with his when he flattened his palm against the sky again. He looked over his shoulder to find Keith staring at him attentively through his fringe.

"Just because you aren't with your family, it doesn't mean you're not loved. We've made our own family up here."

Lance couldn't do anything other than stare at the other in disbelief, watching as Keith's eyes travelled across the constellations. The stars reflected delicately in his eyes, creating a violet galaxy of their own. No matter how many times in the future Lance would look at them, he would never forget the ethereality he saw in them at that moment.  _Why was he only noticing this boy now?_

He smiled to himself, turning to look up again. Tightening his hold on Keith's hand, he welcomed the feeling of longing for the boy sat beside him, legs crossed, and marvelling at something the human eye couldn't see. He didn't question why Keith was suddenly holding his hand, or showing him affection, and simply enjoyed his presence. Nevertheless, a single thought filled his mind and conjured an uneasy feeling in his chest.

The warm hand he held...it was right there, fingers laced with his and thumb stroking over his knuckles, and yet it felt so far away, almost unreachable.


	7. Chapter Seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 2,435 words
> 
> (so satisfying)
> 
> Trigger Warning: Everyone is sad in this chapter. There's a lot of tears and comforting. Shiro goes missing.

"PIDGE! BEHIND YOU!"

"LANCE, GET BLUE'S HEAD OUT OF RED'S ASS!"

"WHERE'S SHIRO?"

"MAN DOWN!"

"THE LEG IS BROKEN, I REPEAT, THE LEG IS BROKEN!"

_"Paladins? Paladins!"_

_"Well, quiznak."_

\--------

Bitterly cold and humid - such an enchanting combination.

Lance groaned and rolled onto his back, bringing his arm over his face. He winced as his shoulder began to burn and tried to sit up. Blue was curled around him, battered and worn. He choked whilst calling for her, reaching out a hand for his helmet that had been smashed. She purred slightly and nudged the helmet towards him, lifting her head to allow the light to reach her paladin.

"Good girl," he whispered and put on his helmet. It dug into his skin and his visor was cracked but it didn't stop him from trying to contact the others. "Is anybody there?"

He was met with silence.

"Come on, Blue. Let's find the others." He pushed himself up, using Blue to steady himself.

Luckily, he hadn't received any major injuries, only a few bruises here and there and his shoulder was burning more than usual. The burning was more welcoming than painful. Like when you drink freshly made coffee on a Winter's day by the fire whilst reading a book. When the warmth stings your hands but it's not too much to handle.

Blue guided him from her improvised shelter and slowly coaxed him into the world. He took a deep breath once he realised where he was.

"I'm... home?"

Perhaps being stranded in space defeating enemy forces is what it took for Lance to finally appreciate it, but never again would he take it for granted. The grass waved at him as he trailed down the path, catching the light in a way that showed its many shades of green. The recent rain led in beads that transferred to his boots and soaked into his socks as he sped up his pace at the sound of laughter coming from the small house at the bottom of the hill.

He halted at the door, admiring the painted white walls with window frames of mahogany. Inside, the gentle crackle of the fire lured him in along with the call of his mother's voice.

"Lance? Lance! Honey, is that you?" her voice was like that of a child, excited, scared,  _relieved_.

_Mama? Is this...am I really home?_

It was exactly how he remembered it. The sweet scent of various flavours of pies and paint lingered in the air, the usual loudness of his family thudded throughout the house, and the flag Marcello had put on the roof still waved in the breeze.  _I'm home...I'm really home..._

He returned his gaze to the door as he heard his mother running down the many stairs he knew would be painted different colours - two for each child. His were blue and orange, the colour of the ocean and the colour of his favourite toy car when he was five years old. A smile found its way onto his face as he reached for the doorknob.  _I'm home...finally!_

"Lance!" a different voice shouted, one far away and out of sight. "Lance there you are!"

He turned around to find Keith panting and stood beside Blue. The sunrays glinted on the raindrops in Keith's hair, illuminated every bruise on his face, opened his eyes.

"Lance, we have to go. Allura can only keep the wormhole open for so long," Keith called, impatiently tapping his foot.

"Kaya, get the door! I think Lance is home! My baby! He's finally returned!" He heard his mother cry as exclamations were made and more footsteps ran for the door. 

He reached for the doorknob again.  _So close..._

"I'm sorry..." his voice was barely audible as he choked back a sob and ran toward Keith and Blue. "Where's your Lion?"

"She tried taking me through the wormhole but I wasn't leaving without you, let's go," Keith climbed into Blue's mouth, standing behind Lance as he reconnected with his Lion.

"Alright, Blue. Let's go - back."

Blue purred and tried to comfort him as she pulled away from the ground. The last thing he saw before they passed through the wormhole was his family pushing through the door and looking for him; he turned away, willing himself not to cry in front of Keith. They had a mission, and if they failed, there wouldn't be an Earth to return to.  

\--------

"Wait, you were serious about Shiro?" Lance panicked, pulling his blanket tighter around his body. Pidge only nodded as she pulled her knees to her chest.

Keith was nowhere to be found, probably having locked himself in his room whilst the others were curled into the sofa in the main deck, minus Coran and Allura. He could barely rid the voice of his mother's voice calling for her baby back from his mind and now he had to learn that Shiro was missing. How much more could he take? 

"What happened to him?"

"Lance-"

"What," he repeated, sharper this time. "Happened to him?"

"We don't know. One minute he was telling me to watch my back and then the next his communication line cut off." Pidge sighed, running a hand over her face. "We found Black, but Shiro wasn't in the cockpit and the stupid Lion won't open up to any of us."

A low growl vibrated through the castle.

"Whatever." Pidge scoffed and pushed her glasses further up her nose. "I don't care if I hurt your stupid feelings for calling you a stupid Lion because it's true. You know what happened to him and you won't tell us! It's stupid, you know that? We could be saving him right now but you - it's so stupid, and I can't...I don't..."

Lance moved to the opposite side of the sofa and pulled her to his chest, running a hand through her hairwhilst she sobbed, clutching the blanket like a child. Hunk excused himself to give them privacy before gathering the untouched dishes of food and retreating to the kitchen to bake, knowing he would struggle to sleep that night.  

"Shh, it's okay Pidge, I'm here," he consoled and wrapped the blanket around Pidge after removing her glasses. He covered her up so she couldn't move and let her fall into his chest. "We're going to get through this. Together."

"I'm so scared, Lance. What if he's dead? What if we never find him again?"

"Don't think like that. We will find him, and this is Shiro - of course - he isn't dead." He leant his head against Pidge's and let his eyes close. "He won't abandon us. I just know it."

Pidge hiccupped and relaxed into his hold, still crying but not as vigorously as before. The two remained there until the Sun started to rise, groaning once they realised they had fallen asleep in an awkward position and would feel the aftermath later. Lance turned his head to the door, finding Hunk stood with two bowls of cereal - something he had bought from an Alien Town - and a small smile.

"Good morning," he said and placed the bowls in their laps once they had pulled away from each other and Lance had freed Pidge's arms. "I brought food. Food always makes people happy. And I've also baked cookies and cupcakes with a variety of flavours for later because we can't eat junk for breakfast. That would be really bad but I guess a one-off wouldn't hurt-"

"Hunk, buddy." Lance sighed, scooping up some cereal before dropping it back into the bowl. "You're rambling. But, thank you."

"Yeah, thanks, Hunk. It means a lot." Pidge smiled and chewed her food, satisfied with the proud glint in Hunk's eyes.

"Have you eaten?"

"What kind of question is that? I live for food, Lance. When am I ever  _not_ eating?"

"That's true." A small laugh came from him and he finished his breakfast before standing to stretch his muscles. He winced as a sharp pain coursed through his neck and rubbed it with his spare hand. "Has Keith come out yet?"

"Unfortunately, no." Hunk sighed. "Neither has the Princess. But I've left them some food outside of their doors along with a glass of water each."

"Thank you for taking care of us, big man." He pulled Hunk in for a hug and then dragged Pidge into it as well. The three stood for five minutes, just holding each other. "No one is alone, you hear me? I'm not letting anyone deal with this by themselves. Now if you excuse me, I have a temperamental four-year-old to talk to."

He waved goodbye as he left the room, placing his bowl in the sink before turning to the corridor where their bedrooms resided. He took a deep breath, mentally preparing himself for the wrath of Keith. But he couldn't lock himself away; it wasn't healthy. And Lance would be damned if he had to play babysitter to a bed-leeched paladin.

"Keith? It's Lance, open up."

No answer.

"Keith, please."

Still no answer.

"Listen to me, I'm not letting you go through this on your own. I'm not letting any of us go through this alone. Especially not you. It isn't healthy to lock yourself away, Keith. You will only make it a thousand times worse. So, please. Let me in."

He waited for ten minutes and he still didn't get an answer. Maybe Keith was asleep? Or maybe he was passed out from exhaustion or a panic attack. What if he wasn't even in his room? Or even on the ship...

His worries were diminished when he heard a small sob coming from Keith's room.

"Okay, so he's safe but that doesn't mean he's okay," he muttered and rolled his head back to stare at the ceiling. He noticed the air vent and cursed Keith for being so stubborn. "If you won't come to me, then I'll come to you."

He almost regretted his decision the moment he climbed into the air vent. He was too big to slide through it and had to shuffle awkwardly on his stomach like a snake. Speaking of snakes...he shook his head and continued to search for the vent that would lead him to Keith's room. He cursed as his jacket got caught on a piece of metal and tore slightly.

"It's for Keith...it's worth it," he mumbled and pushed forward. He sighed once he had found what he was looking for.

"What a coincidence finding you here!" He smiled as he hung upside down from the vent he had punched and poked his head through.

"What the FUCK?" Keith yelled and clutched his hand to his chest. Upon seeing Lance, he furiously wiped his eyes and turned away. "Fuck off, Lance. Didn't you get the message?"

"Did you not get  _my_ message?" Lance dropped from the vent and landed perfectly. He did a little victory dance in his head. "I'm not letting you go through this alone."

"I don't want your help."

"But you need it."

Keith glared at the wall and Lance frowned when he didn't answer. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair, reminding him he needed a shower. He closed his eyes slowly, bit his bottom lip, and swallowed before clearing his throat.

"Keith-"

"No,  _Lance._ " Keith pushed from the bed and stormed over to him, fresh tears falling from his eyes. "Don't you understand that I want to be left alone? Normally I can deal with your annoying persistence, but for fuck's sake, just leave me alone. I don't need your sympathy and I don't need you to pretend-"

He cut Keith off by pulling him in for a hug. That's what everyone needed: a hug, just someone to be there.

"Don't even  _think_ about saying I'm pretending to care for you, Keith."

"But-"

" _No_. I do care, Keith. I care about this whole team, and it hurts to see you like this. I just want to help. Let me be your personal healthcare companion and hug me back because this is the first time you've allowed me to touch you without attempting to kill me and I'm going to make the most of it."  

Keith sighed and rested his head on Lance's shoulder, wrapping his arms around his torso and tensing in his hold. He didn't cry and Lance was grateful for that, not knowing how he would have calmed him down. Keith appeared to be more drained than upset like he was simply done with life. That thought frightened him, but he knew the feeling.

"I know what you're going through and the treatments include contact with friends and loved ones, compassion and physical reassurance. You will be alright. There, there." He patted Keith's head twice.

Keith snorted and pulled away slightly. "Are you seriously quoting Big Hero Six? Right now?"

"What a better time not to? You are Hiro, Shiro is Tadashi, and I am Baymax. Not that Shiro is dead!" He backtracked as Keith's face fell. "Come on, this is Shiro! Shiro can't die, he's like, I don't know a vampire or something."

"That's still implying he's dead, Lance..."

"Oh shit, fuck why is this harder with you. I mean-" he cut himself off when he saw the small twitch at Keith's lips. "Oh ho, you think you're funny, do you?"

"Maybe a little," Keith confessed and wiped his eyes. "You're right. Thank you, Lance."

Keith took three steps away from him and watched as he grabbed his jacket from the bottom of his bed.

"Let's go get you some food, I noticed the bowl was kicked halfway across the hall." Lance chuckled and opened the jacket for Keith to slip into. Once Keith looked 'presentable enough', the two paladins made their way to the kitchen where Pidge and Hunk were scoffing cupcakes.

"NOTHING TO SEE HERE!" Hunk cried through a mouthful of cake and hid some more behind his back. Pidge was no different but continued to stuff three more cookies into her mouth.

"I suggest you choose which ones you want before they all disappear." He nudged Keith toward the table and guided him to sit down. Keith chose a white cookie with red stripes whilst he chose a cupcake with a lemon scent.

"Ah, good choice, my dear Keith." Hunk grinned. "Those are Junaliginuh cookies, the best flavour I ever invented. Don't ask, just eat."

He smiled fondly as his teammates conversed their favourite, newly invented flavoured cookie, letting his eyes wander to the opposite side of the room.

Three down, two to go. 


	8. Chapter Eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 2,975 words
> 
> :)
> 
> Trigger Warning: The first two parts of this chapter focus on Coran and Allura dealing with Shiro's disappearance and the last of them are Lance and Keith's emotional release of some sort. They just talk about their feelings though - mainly negative than positive. It's not too detailed but still meaningful.

The dining room was filled with the usual chatter of the team. Hunk had invented a new flavour of goo and they had finally come together a week after Shiro's disappearance to eat as a family again. Lance cracked a joke and laughter erupted from the table, each person smiling with joy; even Keith chuckled and rolled his eyes. All except one.

Allura.

She frowned, looking at her bowl but not really seeing what was in it. Pushing away from the table, she lifted her head to glance at the others before lowering her eyes.

"I don't feel too good, I'm going to go back to my room."

"Princess -" Coran called after her but she was already gone. His smile dropped and he sighed heavily before pushing his bowl away. "Thank you for the meal, Hunk."

"Don't worry about it." Hunk smiled. Lance followed Coran with his eyes as he left claiming he would be cleaning if any of them needed them. He looked back to Hunk who was also staring at the door with a small frown.

"I'm worried about them," Pidge said. She put her spoon back in her bowl and furrowed her eyebrows. "Coran is supposed to be the hyperactive uncle but now he just cleans and is stressed out and Allura...we hardly see her anymore."

"I'm sure they'll both come around," Lance reassured her and gathered the remaining bowls. He walked over to the sink where Hunk was washing up, passed them to him and patted his shoulder. "We just have to be there for them like we are for each other."

The three nodded and Lance smiled before excusing himself. He walked through the halls with one destination in mind. The Medical Bay.

When the doors opened, the first thing he saw was items scattered across the floor and water spilling from a bucket. His eyes finally landed on Coran - sat on the floor with his head in his hands, legs crossed and surrounded by cleaning supplies.

"Coran?" He made his way over to him, careful to not stand on anything, and sat beside him.

"I can't find the bottle of Juinsa. I was positive I put it with the Gresf but it wasn't there and now I can't clean the pods," he stressed as he pulled various bottles from the floor and threw them away. "I need to find the Juinsa. The pods need cleaning-"

"Hey," Lance interrupted and took the bottles from his hands. "Don't stress about it, I'm sure it's here somewhere. Let's clean all this up and then we will do the pods last, okay?"

Coran nodded and pushed himself up. He crouched to pick up the fallen bucket whilst Lance collected the cleaning supplies. "I made such a mess."

"If you think this is a mess don't go into my room." Lance chuckled and dropped the bottles into the basket on one of the beds. After a few minutes of cleaning the rest of the room, he spotted a stray bottle in the corner of his eye and bent over to pick it up from underneath a cupboard. "Hey, look what I found!"

"Aha!" Coran shouted and rushed to take it from him. He shook his head when Coran immediately started wiping down the healing pods and pulled up one on the opposite side of the room after grabbing a cloth.

_Wait for him to talk to you. He'll talk when he's ready._

...

"I'm worried about her."

"The Princess?" he asked over his shoulder.  _And we're off._

"I've never seen her like this before. I'm not sure what to do." He returned the pod back to its place and hung his head. "I hate seeing her upset."

"She's missing Shiro. Once she realises he is coming back she will be alright, I think. We just have to be there for her. Make sure she keeps eating and doesn't lock herself in her room all day. Has she talked to you about it?"

Coran shook his head.

"I'll see if I can do anything." 

Coran twisted to face him with a hopeful expression. "Really?"

"Of course! We are all family and I'm not letting anyone go through this alone."

"Thank you, Lance. It means a lot!" Coran smiled and his moustache twitched. He took the cloth from him and waved him to the door. "I've got this, you go do what you need to do."

Lance nodded and shook his head fondly as Coran returned to cleaning and whistled a tune whilst he mopped the floor.  _It's progress_. He shoved his hands into his pockets and headed toward Allura's bedroom. He no idea how to comfort her but the team were depending on him and he couldn't let himself ignore someone who was obviously struggling. Hell, if he could hug Keith when he thought he was going to get stabbed then he could talk to Allura.

"Princess? Are you in there?" he called softly and knocked on the door three times. "Please don't make me climb through the vents - I already did that for Keith and my jacket still needs repairing."

The door opened to reveal Allura stood in a casual dress, a fake smile on her face and the mice sitting peacefully on her shoulder. "You climbed through the vents to break into Keith's room?"

"That I certainly did." He winked and then turned serious. "Can I come in?"

Allura hesitated before standing to the side to invite him in. He thanked her and sat at the bottom of her bed, silently admiring her room.

"How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine-"

"The truth, Allura. It's not healthy to bottle up your emotions."

She sighed, her smile dropping. "I miss him," she whispered.

Lance shifted as she sat beside him and waited for her to add to her statement.

"There's an echo of his voice like constant white noise. I feel so alone and empty and scared." She paused. "I'm scared that we won't ever find him. What if he's dead? Or what if Zarkon finds him first? I hate not knowing what happened to him or why he suddenly disappeared. It's all my fault."

Lance frowned. "What makes you think it's your fault?"

"Isn't it obvious?" Allura sniffled. "I sent you on that mission. I shouldn't have done that. I knew how sensitive Shiro was, how much he was struggling but I ignored it and sent you anyway. I'm supposed to protect you all while you protect the Universe. I should have done something to help. Anything."

Lance placed a hand on her shoulder as she started to wipe her eyes. "Allura, listen to me. Going on missions always comes with risks. We all noticed that Shiro's been acting...strange lately but none of us made the effort to address it. We weren't to know what would happen. I think you do a great job of protecting us."

"Lance," Allura said softly, new tears forming in her eyes.

"Look at what you've done. You've brought us all together. You're the one who created the team, our  _family_.  _You_ did that." He gave her a small smile and wiped a tear from her cheek. "You are kind, caring, a great leader, a strong person, beautiful...you are amazing, Allura. And I'm not flirting with you. I genuinely mean it. Over the time we've spent together, I've grown to admire you and look up to you. You're like that awesome older sister I never had."

Allura smiled as another tear fell and pulled him in for a hug. "Oh, Lance. Thank you. Thank you."

He found himself grinning as he wrapped his arms around her. What he had said, he realised, was true. He no longer saw Allura as another girl he could flirt with or had a shot with. He saw her as part of his family, someone he admired greatly. He had grown to love her but in a completely different way to what he originally thought. Besides, he had someone else to fill that role. 

"Now, how about we gather the others and play some games? Take our minds off things and have a little fun?"

"I should be looking for Shiro-"

"He's not going to hate you for taking some time for yourself. We are going to find him, but right now we all need to spend some quality time together. We all miss you."

Allura sighed and wiped her eyes. She laughed lightly and stood up, brushing the kinks out of her dress. "What do you have in mind?"

Lance grinned and stood beside her. _Goal achieved_. He bowed and offered her a hand. "Shall we walk, m'lady?"

"We shall." Allura curtsied and linked her arm with his, smiling at him as they made their way to the dining room where they could hear the chatter of the others.

When they entered, Pidge was the first to spot them and grinned widely, cutting her conversation with Hunk and dropping the gadget in her hands. "ALLURA!"

"Hello, Pidge." Allura smiled.

"Princess!" Hunk shouted and Keith offered her a small wave before dropping his eyes to their linked arms and scowled momentarily.

Allura laughed as everyone greeted her and Lance moved to stand beside Hunk, trying not to think about the way Keith's eyes followed him as though accusing him of something.

"Princess! It's so nice to see you smiling again!" Coran beamed as he entered the room and all but ran to Allura.

She laughed and gestured towards Lance. "Lance can be quite the comforter when he wants to be," she said softly and he blushed.

"It was nothing," he waved Coran's gratitude off. "I'm just looking out for the team."

"You've pulled us all back together, Lance," Hunk insisted and wrapped an arm around his shoulders. He caught Keith's eye as Hunk pulled him to his side but he turned away before he could give him a questioning look. "You're the heart of Voltron!"

"I wouldn't go that far. Hearts are made to love, I'm made to flirt and make a fool of myself," he joked and returned Allura's smile. "Who's up for another games night?"

\---------

"No...I can't..."

"Keith, she chose you-"

"NO! I WON'T DO IT!"

"Keith-"

"Shiro isn't dead! Stop trying to replace him!" Keith screamed and stormed out of the room. Lance could only watch from a distance, unable to reach out to him.

\--------

Keith was always the first to wake in the Castle. He would sit in the dining room until Shiro joined him and then waited with him for the others. They would talk about nothing in particular; there was an unwritten rule that they wouldn't talk about the war unless it was necessary.

Since Shiro's disappearance, Keith had sat alone, watching the castle come to life along with the team.

But this time, he wasn't alone.

This time he had a snake to keep him company.

At first (around a week ago) he was confused as to why there was a snake  _sitting_ at the table and  _waiting_ for him. He had hesitated to sit down but the snake only slithered into his lap and purred when he started stroking her. Since then, he had simply accepted that she stayed with him and left before the others came. In a way, it was like she knew he missed Shiro and was trying to fill in the missing place.

"Tanda, am I correct?" he said as he felt the vibrations of her purr. "You don't act like a snake, you know that? You're more like a cat."

Of course, Tanda didn't reply, but Keith continued talking anyway, grateful to have some company during the time he spent thinking about Shiro never returning.

"I'm still getting used to this being in a family thing," he confessed. "Everyone seems so close but I just feel like I don't fit in without Shiro here. They expect me to fly the Black Lion. I can't do that. I can't replace him. I'm not the leader they think I am, I'm just the loner."

Tanda wrapped herself around his arm and Keith sighed, bringing her to his stomach and resting his head on the back of the chair. He closed his eyes and allowed Tanda's rhythmic purr and warmth to lull him into a light sleep.

...

"NOT YOU TOO!" Lance screamed, startling Keith. He groaned and shifted which proved to be difficult with the extra weight around his neck. "That thing is  _evil_! Why are you  _cuddling it_?"

"She's not dangerous." Keith rubbed his eyes and opened his eyes. "She makes good company too."

"Oh god, it's possessed you." Lance tugged at his hair and paced the room.

Keith rolled his eyes. "I'm not possessed, Lance."

"Why is there shouting?" Allura asked, yawning as she entered the room.

"It possessed Keith!"

"I don't think a snake  _can_  possess someone, Lance." Keith stood from his seat and Tanda slithered to sit around his arm again, her scales blue but her red eyes glaring at Lance. "Even a space snake."

"And we didn't think aliens existed back on Earth," Lance argued and Keith stumbled over a response.

Soon enough, Pidge ran into the room and immediately took Tanda from Keith. "Hey baby, mamma missed you." She tickled her as Hunk leant over and cooed at her. And the snake  _laughed_.  _Physically laughed_.  _What the FUCK!?_

Lance shivered. He ignored Allura calling after him and left the room using the excuse that he wasn't hungry. Keith tried to grab his wrist but he pulled away without looking at him and headed for the Time-Out Den.

He ran his fingers along the smiles of the other paladins and paused on a photograph of Keith and Shiro - the only photo where Keith seemed to be content. He traced his small smile and smiled softly himself, thinking about the photograph he had kept in his room. One where Keith was opening smiling without a care in the world - large, bright and contagious - whilst looking at something just past the camera - at the  _person_  behind the camera. Looking at  _Lance_. 

It was his favourite picture, which is why he kept it in his room and didn't add it to the collection on the wall. In a way, that smile was meant for  _him_ and he wanted to keep it that way.

"Something on my face?"

Lance jumped when Keith peered over his shoulder at the photograph and looked up at him, raising an eyebrow.

"I - uh, no, I was just," he stuttered and then sighed. "What do you want?"

"I want to apologise. But I also want to know why I'm apologising."

"That makes no sense." He moved to sit in his beanbag and pulled it up to the window. Keith copied him and stared at the stars as he spoke.

"Why were you so upset that I was 'cuddling' Tanda?"

Lance didn't reply immediately. He sighed as he searched for constellations. "You were the only one that believed me, you know? You were the only one that actually listened to me. Everyone else just dismissed what I said as usual. It was nice to know someone was on my side for once."

"Oh," said Keith. He brought one leg up to rest his head on as he gazed out of the window. "I still believe you. I just think that she isn't dangerous to the rest of the team. Maybe she hates the way you smell?"

"Whatever, Mull-"

"No, I'm serious. In the desert, there are snakes that attack things they don't like the scent of. Maybe there's something about you she doesn't like."

"That makes two of us," he mumbled and missed Keith's frown.

The lights suddenly cut off and Lance and Keith looked up automatically though they knew they wouldn't see any light. The stars and crystals illuminated the room, casting a peaceful aura around the two.  _Like a romantic - no. Stop._

 _"Don't worry, paladins. The power is down but Coran will have it fixed in a few Vargas. Pidge, Hunk can you report to the control room please?"_  Allura's voice came over the comms.

Lance furrowed his eyebrows as Keith shuffled closer to him and laid a leg across his outstretched ones. He glanced at him but didn't question his actions, and instead returned his focus to the stars. 

"What was it like in the desert?"

"Lonely."

The sudden reply caught Lance off guard and he struggled to form a sentence to continue the conversation but Keith beat him to it.

"It was a lot of things, but the only thing I remember is feeling lonely. Every day I would wake up and go to greet Shiro and then remember that he wasn't there. That I wasn't at the Garrison. I was so happy when I found him. And now that he's gone,  _again_ ," Keith paused. "It...it feels like I'm in the desert all over again."

"But you have us," he replied and pressed his shoulder against Keith's. "You're not alone."

"Sometimes it feels like it. Sometimes I feel so disconnected from everyone. I've never been good at the family thing."

"You don't have to be. We all care about you, Keith -  _I_  care about you. I told you I'm not letting you or anyone else go through this alone and I stick to my promises."

Keith smiled up at him and his breath caught in his throat. An array of colours danced across Keith's face and the stars reflected in his eyes; Lance realised that he was falling for this boy and he didn't even have to do anything.

"And I won't let you go through this thing with Tanda on your own. Or anything else. I'll be here for you."

The heart wants what it wants.

And Lance's heart wanted Keith.


	9. Chapter Nine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1,723 words
> 
> Cute lil chapter for you all because I'm kind like that

Lance was smooth. A flirtatious comment could roll off his tongue the moment he saw someone attractive or even at the most inappropriate of times. He was always a physical person, always touching someone in some way. Either a hand on their shoulder, high-fiving them when they passed or pulling them into an awkward side hug. Hell, he slept in Hunk's bed as the little spoon when he felt homesick.

But, for some reason, when Keith touched him his brain short-circuited.

Lance hated it. But he didn't.

Keith had started being more open with him, and Lance had learned a lot about their Red Paladin. They would aimlessly walk through the Castle when neither of them could sleep and share random information about themselves that the others didn't know. For example, why Keith was kicked out of the Garrison.

Keith would offer small touches here and there and Lance would gladly let him lean against his shoulder in the training room after he had let out all his frustrations on the training bot. He knew Keith hated that he was now the Black Paladin. He knew he felt like he had replaced Shiro. And - in a way - he could relate to that with Allura taking Blue and him taking Red. 

It had started with small, pointless things. A nod of acknowledgement when he walked into the room, a turn of the head when he was talking to someone else to make sure he was still there, a hand on his shoulder when they were leaving for a battle as he told him he'd see him on the battlefield.

But Keith had him on his own battlefield. And Lance was afraid to say he was losing.

He liked to think that he had control over where he stepped, missing each mine and dodging each bullet Keith fired at him. Boy, was he wrong. He most definitely wasn't winning the war between them, even if Keith had no idea they  _were_ at war.

It was late at night, or early in the morning: time wasn't necessarily a concept in Space. Another nightmare had woken him. He couldn't remember it, which he was grateful for, but he just needed  _out_. 

When Lance opened the door to the Time-Out Den, he found Keith already curled up in his beanbag next to the window. He didn't know whether he was the one who used the room the most or whether Keith had slowly crept above him on the scale but he didn't really care when he got to see Keith so content and peaceful somewhere that  _wasn't_  the training room.

A soft hum resounded from somewhere deep in the Castle's mechanics as Keith slowly turned to face him - a shadow cast across a perfect background. Lance tilted his head with a smile and dragged his bean bag to sit next to him. He pulled his knees up and rested his head on his arms, Keith sighing beside him and shuffling to get more comfortable.

And they just sat in silence, listening to the comforting sounds of the Castle and watching the stars. He had come to realise that sitting with Keith was definitely one of his favourite things to do when he felt homesick. Even when he wasn't homesick he still enjoyed Keith's company but Keith just made things...calmer - which was ironic because he was the most batshit crazy, impulsive one of them all.

But even when he was content, Lance couldn't stand silence for too long.

"Why?"

It was a question asked a lot in the past month or so they had started retreating to the room when they needed some time out. It was a simple question but an opening if the other wanted to talk about what was on their mind with no pressure to share their thoughts.

"My room got too..."

"Small?" he offered when Keith trailed off and scrunched his nose - something Lance noticed he did when he was thinking and found it absolutely adorable.

"Loud."

Lance nodded and returned his gaze to the stars, still searching for a constellation even though he knew they were too far away from Earth to find any he knew. He thought about his family and whether they were thinking about him too, missing him like he was missing them. He thought about Shiro and whether he was okay, whether he was  _alive_. Yeah, he had comforted the others and told them multiple times that they would find Shiro, but no one had ever told  _him_ that. No one had reassured him that what he was saying was true. He believed they would find him but he still had his doubts, thoughts that crept into his mind when he really didn't need them.

He could hear Keith's soft breathing and thought about how much things had changed between them. He had self-declared them rivals from day one - even before he had met Keith. He had worked so hard at trying to get one over on the boy who had no idea who he was or why he was so intent on proving his worth. But the thing was, Lance had insecurities. And he still hated the fact that he wasn't as good as Keith. He wouldn't ever be. But he no longer hated  _Keith_. It was far from it, actually. 

"You okay there, pretty boy?"

Lance congratulated himself for not jumping and lifted his head, realising he was frowning and staring at the floor like it held the secrets to the Universe. Keith had moved to sit with an arm hanging off his bent knees and the other supporting his weight from behind, digging into the beanbag. A faint, playful smirk played on his lips as he watched Lance's eyes widen in the realisation that he had been staring at him the whole time.

"I never thanked you," he said and turned his head away from Keith and trained his eyes on the stars.

"For what?"

"For stopping me from opening my door."

"I'm not sure I follow."

"You know before Shiro went missing and I got thrown through the wormhole and ended up on Earth." Lance waved his hand and sighed. "I was so close to seeing my family again. But I'm glad you called me because if I would have opened that door... I don't think I would have ever come back."

Keith frowned. "Lance, what are you talking about? You were spacing out in your Lion. It took me five minutes to snap you out of it."

"What?" He glanced at Keith and searched for a sign on his face that told him he was just playing a cruel joke. He found nothing.

He opened his mouth to say something but no words would form and Keith eyed him as he calculated things in his head. He was certain he was home. He could still hear his mother's voice calling for his siblings to open the door because her baby was finally home. He could still feel the soft breeze that provided refreshment after living in Space for so long. He could still -

Keith reached out a foot and knocked it against his ankle to bring Lance back from whatever thoughts had washed over him.

"Hey, don't think too much. You'll hurt yourself."

Lance just laughed. He knew Keith didn't really mean it by the softness of his voice. But it still didn't stop the crushing feeling that something wasn't adding up. He had definitely been home.

"As opposed to you who doesn't think and still manages to hurt himself." He chuckled and Keith scoffed.

He examined Keith's posture. He wasn't alert but there was something there that indicated he still had his guard up. He thought back to when he fell asleep on his shoulder after the battle and crossed his legs, ignoring how Keith moved his foot to press against his. The touch ignited his skin and he swallowed to push down the sudden urge to do _something,_ anything _._

In an attempt to rid Keith's foot from his, he twisted in his beanbag and stretched his legs out as far as they could go, but, in response, Keith only threw his legs over his and leaned back on his hands as he continued nonchalantly staring out of the window.  _Damn it, Keith._

Lance's eyes trailed across his outstretched neck where his hair brushed the skin lightly and to where he was delicately biting his bottom lip and willed himself to find a distraction. At the moment he decided to look away, Keith turned to look at him and they locked eyes. His heart drummed in his chest and he froze as they just stared at each other, searching for something.

What it was, Lance didn't know, but they seemed to find it and they both laughed slightly before looking up at the ceiling.

"You look tired as fuck, man," he commented and sunk further into his beanbag so he was lying down. "When are you going to go to bed?"

Keith looked at him before crossing his legs and lying back. He gently pressed his knee into Lance's thigh and settled with a small sigh. "I want to stay here. Is that alright?"

"Yeah, yeah that's fine," Lance choked and hoped Keith couldn't hear his internal struggle. He felt like screaming when Keith smiled at him softly and added a bit more pressure on his thigh. "The sky is beautiful at night. I love watching the stars."

A distraction was what he needed.

"I bet it's only so beautiful because I'm here."  _You make everything beautiful..._

"Whatever helps you sleep at night, Mullet," Lance replied with a small chuckle.

He looked away from the stars to check on Keith once more to find him already staring back. The stars illuminated his face again and he stuck his tongue out at him before moving his head to rest on his shoulder. He sighed contently and Lance cursed himself for his cheeks burning so much he was sure Keith could feel the warmth radiating off them.

Watching a shooting star pass by, he heard Keith whisper for him to make a wish. But he already had his.

Because out of one Universe, millions of stars, thousands of planets, and countless numbers of living things...he had found Keith.


	10. Chapter Ten

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 2,496 words
> 
> :(
> 
> Trigger Warning: Graphic descriptions of a nightmare, intrusive thoughts and anxiety. The second half of this chapter is a graphic panic attack. Please be careful whilst reading this. If you want to skip, there will be a brief summary of this chapter at the start of the next one.

He had been awake for thirty-six hours and the nonsensical thoughts running through his head told him he was finally falling asleep. Now all he had to do was let go; as a darkness overcame him, his mind went into free fall, swirling with the beautiful chaos of a new dream.

One he hoped wasn't another nightmare. 

When he opened his eyes, the first thing he saw was Aquira. She was sat on a rock that overlooked the river, tracing patterns into the water with a stick and humming a soft tune. She wore the same dress as before but her hair was braided with poppies and thrown over her left shoulder. Realising he was there, she waved and patted the spot beside her. He sighed and made his way over - using the short walk to fully appreciate the river's grace.

The water shimmered in the sunlight, making it seem as though the lake was a portal to another dimension. And perhaps it was. It was crimson in colour, overlayed with cerulean flames that melded into shapes similar to that of a lily. The occasional breeze caused identical rings to decorate the waters; smooth-edged stones gleamed yellow with a sense of supernatural traits at the bottom. Never had he seen such a beautiful thing before.

Aquira waited until he had finished marvelling and sat beside her to bump his shoulder with hers. "Welcome back."

He turned his head to her and smiled. "I still think it's a dream."

Aquira laughed. "I can assure you that this is real. If it wasn't, you wouldn't be able to feel this-"

She leant forward and pushed him off the rock and into the river. He yelled and braced himself for the usual chill that hit when you were submerged in the water but it never came. Instead, it had created a bowl around him and had gently placed him on his feet on the stones that lay peacefully. He let out a shuddered 'Woah' and stuck a hand into the wall surrounding him. The water turned translucent and reverted back to red once he pulled his hand out.

"Amazing, isn't it?" 

Lance looked up at her with a grin as wide as the Chesire Cat's. She had a hand suspended in mid-air above the river, her fingers and wrist moving slightly and when she raised it and curled it into her chest, the water lifted him and placed him back on the rock beside her, dry as a bone. 

"Did - did  _you_ do that?" he sputtered.

"I did." She twisted her wrist again and brought a bubble of water up and held it in her palm. "I can control water. Whatever I tell it to do-" It twisted into a small embodiment of Lance. "-it does."

His mouth dropped open and he reached out a hand to poke it in the face. It lost its form and fell into a puddle on the rock, trickling down the side to return to its home. Lance smiled even more.

"That's strange..." Aquira hummed.

"What?"

"It's never done that before when someone touched it." She stared at the water a little longer before turning to Lance. "Nevermind, maybe I've been away from home for too long."

"Can't you go back?" He trailed his hand through the water and the ripples tickled his skin.

"I have to wait for you," she replied instantly. Lance blinked.  _Him?_  Aquira sighed and tucked her legs underneath her, placing her hands on her lap the same way Allura did. "I cannot return home without you."

"Why me? What stops you?" 

Something landed on his shoulder and trilled happily, causing him to jump and lean back as it transferred to Aquira's. Its ear-like tufts were implicative of a teddy bear, yet its green eyes befitted a leopard, fearless and daring. It looked like a small, bird-sized human, with a tiny nose and rose-red lips stretched into a friendly smile as it leant into the hand Aquira raised to stroke it. Sharp, silver wings fluttered behind it; under the sunlight, traces of green revealed themselves to be woven throughout the delicate swirls that decorated them. 

He smiled as it turned to him and offered a small wave and trilled again.

"It's coming."

He hesitated. A quick laugh adorned Aquira's face as the creature climbed over her, jumping from different body parts to another, yet her words were said with such fear and desperation that it rendered him from saying anything in return. The fear was a weight on his ribs and a dull ache in his eyes, something that caused his smile to drop, refusing to move past anything but neutral. His mind flashed back to the staircase where the exact feeling occurred before.

It was the feeling of the tightening in his chest. It was the way he opened his mouth, no sound coming out, robbing him of his senses and replacing them with something that made his muscles contract and his eyes widen. It was the fear that he felt when there was a movement in the corner of his eye, when he couldn't find it, couldn't find it,  _where is it?_  It was the desperation of a scream and panic in his eyes as it lurched for him, thuds growing louder and heavier with each passing second - that pure, unadulterated terror. 

"What's coming?" He gulped, steading his voice. 

"It's coming," she repeated, still laughing at the creature. 

"Aquira,  _what's_  coming?" He was desperate. He could feel it creeping up on him. The sky darkened but the rest of the scenery stayed elegant and lively. 

"It's coming."

Lance pushed himself up and stumbled away from the river, back to the ruins. He needed to pull himself together, to wake up and focus on reality.

"It's coming, it's coming, it's coming, it's coming."

He forced himself to run faster - away from Aquira's words as she stared at him, the creature had disappeared. 

"It's coming, it's coming, it's coming-"

His hands trembled at his side and he jammed his fist into his mouth to stifle a scream. He tripped over a rock as Aquira appeared before him, her eyes widened, breaths ragged and harsh. 

_There._

It wasn't just blackness, it was nothing at all - a complete absence of light. It cast no shadow, made no noise and gave off no odour. Faces of people jutted out of its body, hands reaching for something, screaming for help, their twisted skin and mummified bodies disintegrating with every step it took. Closer. Faster. Heavier.

It lurched, onyx remains of what used to be beautiful creatures unravelling behind it, reached out a ragged claw and-

An ominous boom startled him out of the abysmal dream. His cheeks were wet and his body was bathed in a cold sweat, heart pounding against his chest. He let out a frightened cry and buried his face in the floor.  _Wait -_ He lifted his head and turned to see the endless darkness surrounding him save a few miniature lights creating the allusion of floating in space without a suit or ship.

With purple lips tinged with blue and gently chattering teeth, he wrapped his jacket around him tighter. "Hello? Is anyone there?"

A small roar echoed back and Lance found himself letting out a breath he didn't realise he was holding, his breath warming his nose ever so slightly. He pushed himself to his feet and held his hands out in front of him as he took a step forward. Ignoring the tears threatening to spill, he swallowed and choked on his words. 

"Blue? Blue is that you? Where are we?"

Two yellow lights flickered in the distance and his surroundings became discernible but the colours were so softened that they were almost grey. Soon enough, he found himself running toward the Lion without worrying about where he was heading. He just wanted to go back home. If it wasn't for the communication link between him and Blue, he would've believed he was still in the dream. No, he had dreamt about her before but the feelings she sent him felt distant, muted. This was very much real. 

As he neared Blue, his whereabouts unravelled before him. It all made sense: the darkness, the iciness, the crystals...he was back on Ryffo.  _Maybe the dreams aren't dreams at all..._

"Blue! Blue where are you?" he shouted and yelled as she closed her mouth around him and threw him into the cockpit. "Oh my god."

He pushed himself from the floor and hastily sat at the controls with a violent shiver. He automatically bonded with her and grabbed the handles as she purred and sent him reassurances -  _I got you._

"Take me home, Blue," he said quietly and spared one final glance to the cave shrinking behind them, one word on repeat in his head as he shuddered and turned away.

Tanda.

\---------------

He had just landed in Blue's cockpit and stumbled out of her mouth. He no longer thought this was a dream. He no longer deluded himself thinking that he would eventually face his demon and wake up the next day with no more thoughts of the monster that haunted his every living moment - awake or asleep. Whatever it was, it was real. And it was coming

“Lance!” Hunk yelled, catching his attention.

He didn’t have time to process what was happening before he was pulled into an overwhelming hug. He pushed away harshly, legs shaking as he backed away shaking his head.  _Too much, too much, stop, please -_

“Lance?” His words were soft, concerned, cautious.

He refused to meet his eye, staring at the ground as Hunk stepped towards him. _Please -_

“Lance, what's wrong? What happened?”

He shook his head again. Ringing screams vibrated in his ears and his heart still thumped against his chest. He curled his fingers into a fist, nails digging into his palm.  _It's coming, save us, Monse, please -_

Hunk placed a hand on his arm and lowered his voice. “Hey, Lance, buddy, look at me.”

Taking advantage of the grip he had, Hunk shook him, just lightly, trying to elicit a reaction.

“Lance? Please-”

“Lance!” The sound of the hangar doors opening signalled the arrival of the others.

Hunk pressed closer, loosening his grip, trying to catch his eye. “Lance? You're scaring me. Talk to me, buddy."

He ignored the footsteps that were coming toward them.  _There's somthing evil inside of you. It's coming! Save us! Help us, Monse! It's coming! It's her fault! Monse? Monse, Lance? LANCE, LANCELANCELANCELANCELANCELAN -_

“Hey, look at me! Lance? Are you hurt?”

His head lifted slowly to look at Hunk, eyes glazed and lips trembling. He opened his mouth but no words came out as a cry threatened to rip from his throat. 

Too many voices were screaming at him. They were indistinguishable. They could have been men, women, children, aliens but he wouldn't have known because they all melded into one. They sounded so  _afraid_ , so  _helpless_ , so  _desperate_. 

_Help us, its coming, its coming, its coming-_

He clamped his hands over his ears, flinching away from the hand Hunk reached out to him. There was a voice louder than the others, not a shout, simply a broken cry that came from just behind him.

“Lance, please. I don't want to die.”

He whipped around, but there was no one there. 

_It’s coming, it’s coming._

The voices grew impossibly louder. He thought getting away from the cave would silence it. He thought being back home would ease the terror, that he could distract himself.

_IT’S COMING._

He screamed.

_IT’S COMING IT’S COMING LANCE PLEASE IT’S COMING IT’S COMING I DON'T WANT TO DIE IT’S COMING IT’S COMING IT'S YOUR FAULT IT’S COMING IT’S COMING IT’S COMING IT’S COMING IT’S COMING IT’S COMING IT’S-_

Hunk surged forward to catch him as his legs gave way underneath him. His knees hit the floor as Hunk pulled him into his chest but he was too listless to keep himself upright. His mouth opened with an eternal silenced scream, saliva dripping from behind his teeth and onto the ground. 

Hunk tried to hold him back, to calm him even as his own tears fell thick and fast. He choked and gasped for air, his throat burning and his head spinning. "What did I do? What did I do?" he sobbed.

“No, Pidge," warned Keith as he pulled her back by her collar. She cried out and thrashed in his hold.

"Let me go to him! Lance!"

"What did I do?" he screamed and sobbed as Hunk rocked him back and forth, whispering words he couldn't hear. "Stop! Stop, stop, stop, please. I can't. I can't do this. I - please, help me -"

Pidge moved for him again but Keith gripped her tighter as she swore at him and punched his chest. He squared his jaw and asked Allura to take her and wrestled to get her out of the room. 

"Pidge, please," he croaked. "Please."

She gave up the fight, sobbing loudly as she allowed Allura to coax her away. She knew Lance would be alright but she just wanted to do  _something_ to help him; Keith knew she would never forgive him if anything happened and he had made her leave. 

He turned back to Hunk and Lance after swallowing when the doors closed and hesitantly walked toward them. He ignored Lance's violent shaking and knelt in front of him. Lance had his eyes closed, whispering for whatever it was to stop into Hunk's shirt and Keith called out softly to him, having to cough to make his voice louder. 

"Lance. Lance, I need you to count your breaths with me, okay?"

Lance only continued mumbling incoherently. He looked up at Hunk who was gripping him as tightly as he could and rubbing a hand up and down his back - the same way he did when he fell out of the healing pod. But this wasn't a nightmare, was it? Lance was awake...

"We need you to calm down so you can tell us what happened." He placed a hand on his cheek and tried to move his head to look at him. Lance gripped his arm and snapped his eyes open, making direct eye contact.

"It's coming."

"What's coming?" 

"It's coming. It's going to kill them." He desperately reached out for him and then caved in on himself. "There's something wrong with me. There's something inside of me. Something evil. I can feel it. I can feel their pain, I can - I can -"

Keith stopped as Lance broke into another fit of sobs and frowned whilst Hunk continued to console him. He placed a hand awkwardly on Lance's knee and noticed that the scar on his shoulder was glowing blue: a pulsating light that dimmed as he calmed down. 

Whatever was happening with Lance, it wasn't going to be easily fixed. 


	11. Chapter Eleven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For those who skipped the last chapter because of the trigger warning: 
> 
> Lance had a dream where he met Aquira and the 'monster' started chasing him and he woke up in the cave on Ryffo. He went back to the castle in Blue but when he got there he had a massive panic attack and broke down.
> 
> Key Parts:  
> Aquira can waterbend; she has to wait for Lance before she can return home.  
> Lance is now connected to both the 'monster' and the 'victims'.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 2,624 words
> 
> Trigger Warning: When Tanda is introduced, Lance's anxiety starts playing up. Mentions of slight violence at the end.

_"Guys! Get to the lab as soon as you can! It's important!"_

Lance groaned and grumbled something incomprehensible, but forced himself from his bed anyway and headed to find Pidge. It had been a day since his panic attack and he'd effectively avoided the others by locking himself in his room. He just couldn't deal with being around people, especially when they kept asking what was wrong with him. Because, yes, there was something wrong with him. Something terribly wrong. And if it was true, then he didn't want the others to come to any harm because of it. 

Hunk had spoken to him through his door for hours. He had tried to get Lance to open up to him and tell him what was wrong, telling him how worried he was and that he just wanted to keep him safe. He had even threatened to get Keith to break down his door until Lance had finally answered him and told him he wanted to be left alone and would explain everything when he was feeling better. Hunk had been hesitant to leave but when Lance ignored him again he sighed and whispered 'good night' before retreating to his own room.

Truthfully, Lance hadn't been pissed at him at all. He had been sat in the corner of his room, hugging his knees to his chest, dealing with another panic attack. One that hadn't allowed him to sleep until he heard the others moving about for breakfast.

He sighed as he neared the labs and entered the room, trailing the bed sheets he had refused to leave behind him. Everyone else was already there and when the door slid open. There was a moment's silence as they turned to him with sympathetic, weary looks. He hated it. He hated how they looked at him as though he was fragile and going to break down at any second. He just wanted them to treat him normally. He already felt like an outsider as it was.

Breaking the tense silence, Pidge sprinted over and threw her arms around him, burying her face into his chest. He brought a hand up to hold the back of her head as she breathed deeply into the covers. Lance felt her hands tighten in the sheets and he exhaled deeply, the unsaid message of  _'I'm glad you're okay'_  passed between them.

It was evident that she had been worried about him, and although he hadn't been aware of his surroundings, he knew that she had to be dragged from Blue's hangar screaming and crying. He hated that she had witnessed his breakdown, that he had hurt her so much. It wasn't fair. They were in a war and she had enough to deal with without the extra stress of his insecurities and emotional outbursts. None of them did.

They stayed like that for a few minutes and when Lance lifted his head, he found Keith watching intently with a small, worried but fond smile playing on his lips. He looked away as Pidge removed herself and looked up at him from behind her large glasses. Hunk was next. Lance smiled sadly into the hug, squeezing back just as hard. Hunk's hugs always had the strange effect of making him feel at home again. And although it was amazing, sometimes nostalgia got too much.

"It's good to have you back, Lance." Princess Allura smiled.

"It's been quiet without you, my boy," added Coran. 

He nodded at them both and turned to Keith who simply stared at him. But for those two, no words were needed.

"It's good to be back." He turned to the others. "So, what's so important that you dragged me from my beauty sleep?"

Pidge snorted. "Clearly you aren't getting enough of it." Lance chuckled. 

Normality. He could do with a bit of that right now.

Traces of his 'dream' lingered but he forced them to the back of his mind as Pidge started rushing around her worktop and pulled up various files on her tablet. He tried not to dwell on any of it. 

"I found something new about Tanda," Pidge announced from under her desk, popping back up with a cage.

Lance’s shocked stuttering went unnoticed as she opened the door and Tanda slithered into her arms. He took a step backwards, wrapping the blankets tighter around his body. The snake purred happily - green scales shimmering under the artificial light of a lamp - when Pidge smiled and petted her, talking to her in a voice often used for children.  

_Calm, Lance._

"What is it?" Coran asked and Keith straightened his posture.

"Remember when I said there were stripes that glowed blue at night?"

Everyone nodded, except for Lance who had his eyes trained carefully on Tanda. His body shivered violently despite the Castle's constant high temperature. His fingers tingled and his chest ached as though there was an energy threatening to burst through his skin. It came with an overwhelming coldness that coursed through his veins like poison.  _Is this another panic attack?_

"Well, when Lance...last night," she swallowed and poked a file on the holographic screen. "I came here to study her some more...and...I found... _this_."

She pulled up camera footage from the Castle's surveillance. On it, Tanda was glowing a fluorescent blue that illuminated the entire screen even though it was in night vision; she was twisting and turning in a repeated pattern to an unheard beat. A movement was detected as Pidge sulked into the room and Lance's stomach dropped at how  _depressed_ she looked but what truly made him feel sick was the blue symbol left when Tanda hurried to go back into her cage as Pidge approached. It was only there for a second, pulsating twice before disappearing along with Tanda's stripes, but it was there: two spirals placed opposite a horizontal line to form an 's-shape'.

He ghosted a hand over his hip underneath the covers. 

"What does it mean?" Allura asked and replayed the video. Coran shifted beside her to get a closer look.

"I'm not sure. I've never seen anything like it. Maybe it's a mating ritual?" she offered and pulled up another file. "I did some research on traditional symbols but nothing matches."

"When was this?" Keith asked and Lance found himself snapping his head to the new voice. He stood with his arms folded, eyes wide and eyebrows furrowed.

"Around the same time..." she drifted off, glancing in his direction. No one needed to finish the sentence.

"Can you bring up previous footage?" 

Pidge frowned. "I can but-"

Keith cut her off as he walked toward the tablet and scanned the screen. Pidge reached over his shoulder to select a few options so he could search through the history. The tingling in Lance's fingers grew more persistent, travelling down to his feet and he shifted uncomfortably as Keith swiped through dates and finally pulled up the footage. 

Allura paled. 

It was the day Shiro had gone missing. 

"Keith -"

"Sh."

Lance watched the screen as he brought up the moments just after everyone had lost connection with each other. When he had gone home. 

Again, Tanda's stripes were lit. She was erect, using her tail to support her weight, and twisting her head back and forth as though searching for something. Lance saw Keith frown through the screen as he pulled up another video. Almost a month ago. This time, Tanda was curled into a ball as she glowed. Occasionally her tongue would flick out and retreat almost like she was snoring. The colour wasn't as bright as the most recent footage but it still held dominance over the monochromatic picture. 

Keith continued to bring up different videos, pausing to calculate something every now and again before flicking between each piece of data, mumbling to himself.

The hand Lance held against his hip dug its fingers into his skin. The coldness grew more intense and his heart raced in his chest. He wasn't dumb. He wasn't going to pretend he had no idea what Keith was doing. Because the proof was right there. He was just surprised that Keith had been paying such close attention to his words and actions to remember exactly when each  _event_ happened.

Keith's eyes flickered up to meet his. They were different from the professional, guarded haze he constantly wore and were softer than Lance knew eyes could be. From that look alone, he knew that Keith understood. He knew that he was worried, had no idea what to do or say, and even a little bit scared. Scared for  _him_. With anyone else, he would have looked away from the intense stare but with Keith he was always drawn closer, always wanting more.

And then he said the words Lance had been dreading to hear. Even if he knew they were true. They still sent chills down his spine.

"Tanda did this."

He didn't break their eye contact but he stepped away from the screen and pointed at the cage.

"Put her in the cage, Pidge."

"What? No-"

"Pidge. Tanda is the cause of what's happening to Lance." He turned to her with a pointed glare at the snake curled around her neck. "Everything that has been happening is because of her."

"He literally had one panic attack-"

Lance took another step back as Keith and Pidge argued. But it wasn't one panic attack...

"A panic attack  _you_ freaked out over. And what about the sleepwalking-"

Sleepwalking.  _Ryffo. It's coming - no, no, please..._

The energy inside him bubbled like a kettle left on the stove for too long, compelling him to stumble to the door and run down the hallway.  _Out. Get away. Breathe._  He heard the arguing stop as Keith shouted his name and footsteps echoed after him. He stumbled to his bedroom, clenching his teeth at the iciness spreading through his body. He shook his arms, trying to get rid of the tension but it was to no avail.  

_Fucking get it together._

"Lance!"

He quickened his pace. He did  _not_ need Keith asking him questions right now. Not when he felt like he was going to implode from the very thought of facing what was happening to him. But something was tugging him as he neared the corridor, leading him to the hangars.  _Blue?_

He raced ahead.  _Come home._

"Lance, stop!" 

Keith was right behind him as they entered Blue's hangar. The ache in his chest grew heavier as he lunged desperately for the Lion, unexpecting of Keith's sudden grasp of his arm. He hissed and ripped away from him.

" _What?_ " he growled.

Keith hesitated for a moment before holding his arms up in surrender. "I was just going to make sure you were alright."

"No, I'm not fucking alright!" He snarled.

"Lance-"

Blue roared as pain shot up Lance's arm. It was a sharp, sudden bolt that had him flinching in surprise and recoiling from the ringing in his ears.  _Something evil -_  His fingers felt hot, tingling as if they were trying to rip away from his hand. 

_It's coming._

"The cave!" he snapped, the sudden realisation weighing down on him almost as heavy as his arms.

"What?"

"It's there. I have to get to it," he muttered and turned to Blue. "Come on girl, you were there last time, right? You can take me again." 

"Lance, what are you doing?" Keith asked frantically, reaching out to him again only to stop once Lance snapped his head toward him with a glare.

"Don't."

"Where are you going?" 

Lance took another step towards Blue but Keith blocked his path. He folded his arms and puffed out his cheeks, his expression hard. 

"You're not going anywhere. You're not thinking straight."

_Find me, Lance._

"Move out of my way," he demanded,  too much energy and too many emotions repressed within him to react to the flash of pain on Keith's face. 

"What's wrong?" Keith spoke softly but didn't falter in his stance.

"I don't know!" He didn't mean to say it so viciously, but everything was just so  _heightened_ that he couldn't think straight.

_Lance, help me! I need you!_

Reality wasn't as tangible as it should have been. Visions flashed before his eyes, some through the eyes of others as the monster stalked them and some of beautiful, serene imagery with open skies and clear seas. His arms burned along with his shoulder and his hip, they were cold, fingers still tingling as he clenched his jaw and squeezed his eyes shut.

_It's coming, it's coming, it's co-_

"Lance, stop."

Keith was in front of him again. Snapping his eyes open, he realised he could barely make out his face. There was not an inkling of light around them, only a bioluminescent glow that outlined Keith's form. The darkness itself was enough to suffocate him and he hardly comprehended bringing his hands up, palms exposed.

He was shaking so violently that his vision was blurred. The room started to spin and his heart hammered in his chest.  _He was going to hurt someone...Something terrible was going to happen._

"Hey, calm down."

A hand wrapped cautiously around each of his wrists. Keith’s mouth was drawn into a tight line. Violet eyes tracked across his face, the colour emphasised by the eerie glow in the darkness. It was the same look the others had given him. Lance  _hated_ it. Especially from  _Keith_.

"I  _am_ calm," he hissed and tried to pull away.

"You're not," Keith said with no room for discussion. "Where are you trying to go?"

"I told you!" He squirmed in his hold, unable to decide whether he wanted more of Keith's touch or to shove it away. "It's inside me!" 

"You're not making any sense." Keith tightened his grip. 

He sounded worried and as he flicked his eyes nervously to just over his shoulder, Lance realised that the glowing was coming from  _him_. Not just  _from_ him,  _he was glowing,_ and it was coming off him in waves.

It was soft, luminous and coiled its gleaming tendrils upon whatever it came across, dipping them in a radiant, hypnotic glow. Sprinkles of allure and silver hues cast shadows across Keith's face and decorated Lance's skin with an intrinsic charm. The symbol on his shoulder burned and pulsated, the light growing stronger each time he took a panicked breath. His skin was the same colour as Aquira's and he could see the intensity of his eyes reflected in Keith's, even brighter than the symbol on his skin.

Keith sucked in a breath. "Let's find the others, alright?"

"No!" 

"Lance, talk to me. Tell me what's going on!" 

"Stop," he said, pulling away and bringing his hands to his head. "Asking me!"

"I'm trying to  _help_ you!" Keith argued.

"Help me?" Lance scoffed, on the verge of hysteria. "Don't you understand? It's  _inside_ of  _me_. Not you. Not Hunk. ME."

"No, I  _don't_  understand!" Keith shouted and took a step forward. " _What's_  inside of you, Lance?  _What's_  coming? What happened when you woke up on that planet?"

_Lance Lance Lance Lance - Help us!_

The energy pulsing through him screamed at him, to do what he had no idea. All he knew was that his skin felt too tight and that there were too many emotions building up, wanting a release they couldn't have. His fingers twitched as memories of his dreams emerged from the corners of his mind. 

_Something evil inside you - I don't - evil - want to - it's coming - die -_

Just a moment too late he saw the hand reaching for him and an intense sensation of panic and emotion surged through his body starting from his chest. The energy trapped inside him felt like a bomb, and the timer was going off at any moment. 

_IT'SCOMINGIT'SCOMINGIT'SCOMINGIT'SCOMINGIT'SCOMINGIT'SCOMINGIT'SCOMING-_

It was too much. Everything was _too much_  and just as Keith touched his arm, a scream tore from the back of his throat as he lashed out, curling in on himself,  _violently, relentlessly, overwhelmed, cold, numb, scared-_

And if he had stayed awake for just a second longer, he would have seen exactly what he was capable of.


	12. Chapter Twelve

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 2,209 words
> 
> I'm sorry for such a late update. I've been dealing with personal things and updates may be slower than usual for a while.
> 
> I hope I'm still meeting your expectations for this story because I sure as hell am not meeting mine.  
> ~ Matthew
> 
> Trigger Warning: Graphic descriptions of violence, a nightmare, wounds, anxiety, fear, and mentions of death.

The aperture was black. A place of forsaken immaculateness. Instead of seeing the Castle, Lance saw nothing - no light, no shadows, no monsters he once imagined hid under his bed as a child, just black. He gulped as he stared into the emptiness, the hairs on the back of his neck and arms standing up one by one.

A knell sounded. A low, consecutive ringing. A sweet scent of Grapefruit and Rosemary perfume hung in the air, mixed with an underlying stench.

 _Mama_ , he thought. But that was impossible.

A small candle flame flickered to life and danced in the distance. Hues of fluorescent blues, greens and pinks mixed together to form a beautiful light that showed a spark of false hope. 

Abruptly, a chill rose up his spine making him shiver. Something was here with him. He whipped around. Sounds of hushed whispering and scuttling reached his ears. The resounding soft scrapes of metal against concrete behind him fell in metronome with the ticking of a clock stuck in place. He wanted to run. Instead, he felt his body inch forward. 

Fragmented reflections stared at him through the dark as he edged towards the flame. A crack ran across one of the images, finding the weakness that was once invisible. Lance paused to examine his face with the glass cutting through his left eye and ran his bare finger over the top; like a coil suddenly relieved of tension, it imploded. There was no deafening smash, only a raining down of fragments sharp enough to cut on contact. He hissed and clutched his eye as he stumbled backwards. He lifted his arm to shield his face and pushed through the blizzard of glass, spiralling about him in almost mesmerising patterns.  

Whilst the candle had started burning in a "machine way", it was now perfectly artistic, unique. Small flames flickered to life behind it, small and white like the stars; unlike the constellations, they did not remain still. Each was held aloft and swayed so that it became a sea of light, united and separate simultaneously. Lance's steps echoed as he drifted toward them. So close...

The ringing of the knell grew louder. The darkness loomed behind him. Lance's footsteps grew heavier. He was running. The candle was far yet near, bright yet dim, and welcoming yet taunting. He didn't wish to hear the sad stories it held, he only wanted what was once his. 

He ran faster as the dark chased him. It was coming and it would never stop.

_It's coming-_

He'd be fine once he reached the light.

_It's coming-_

Just a little further...

_It'scomingit'scomingit'scoming-_

He reached out his hand. Something wrapped around his ankle. 

IT'SCOMINGIT'SCOMINGIT-

The flames screamed and died, leaving darkness to dominate once more before a sudden light temporarily blinded him. He pressed the heel of his hand harder against his eye and bit his lip in frustration as he tried to focus his other. His breathing was ragged and his muscles were tense but he had been through this before. It was just another nightmare; he would wake up soon.

Once his eye finally focused, he scanned his new surroundings. Plastered walls confined a doorless room, peeling from the corners like a snake shedding its skin. Intermittently cracked ceramic tiles pushed each other towards the walls, leaving a hazardous crater in the centre as though a giant meteor had crashed there. There was an arrogant silence as the clock froze mid-tick and the same scent from before seeped through the air. Grapefruit and Rosemary.

There were no lightbulbs hanging, but, somehow, the room dimmed and flickered to black before brightening again. The walls pulsated and writhed behind Lance - unseen - until a claw tore through, trailing some kind of wire behind it. It could have been dipped in oil, the way it hung between the fingers. 

A rustle of movement forced Lance's eye to the far corner where a figure lurked, hunched over, messily slurping whatever was in its...grasp. It turned, and Lance couldn't breathe. Grief and fear choked him as his hand flew to his mouth and he staggered until his back hit the wall. He screamed as the claw pierced through his shoulder, followed by a second and a third. Each one brought a searing pain like fire writhing inside him; blotches of what he hoped wasn't blood stained his shirt, spreading across his chest in symbols.

His legs trembled and his heart pounded in his chest like a clap of thunder, as he tried to focus on the creature through the pain and blood rushing to his ears. Never had he seen such malice and corruption, a  _thing_ devoid of any mortal characteristics, before. Not even in his worst nightmares, or in monster stories, or even in the Bible.

He could have fled if he wanted to. He had the strength to rip away from the claws and escape; there were only two things preventing him from doing so. A missing door, and time.

Father Time can always catch up to you, no matter how fast you run.

The creature's head was slumped, as though it had been caved in at the back and repeatedly maimed at the front. It grinned. There wasn't any way to describe how it looked. Abnormal. Terrifying. The Devil himself. The list could go on and he would never find one.

_I told you she'd come._

The figure started shuffling toward him like a decrepit, decaying old man. As it got closer he could see the dislocated jaw showing its torn tongue and blood-stained, razor sharp, savage teeth. It took another step and its body violently jerked as it slapped against the tiles. A soft thud echoed along with a squelch like it had squashed a slug the size of a basketball. Rags scarcely covered the indistinct corpse - the room brightened once more as a repulsive smell overwhelmed the Grapefruit and Rosemary fragrance. It was the pompous, suffocating smell of rapid decay. 

The smell of his own death.

Lance whimpered. He slumped down the wall and ignored the ripping of his shoulder as the claws impossibly tightened their grip. He shivered, twisted, turned, screamed, yelled...anything he could as creatures he had no intention of acknowledging crawled across his face, into his ears and down his skin.

_Just a dream. Just a dream. It's not real. It's not real._

The figure began to run with a sudden lurching grind - onyx wires unravelling from the shackles on the wall - a metallic scream, and a desperation for destruction. 

Lance closed his eyes and a tear fell down his cheek as his mother's name slipped from his tongue as the creature plunged forward.

 

\--------------------

 

His head throbbed. The pain felt like someone had taken a knife to his skull and he squeezed his eyes shut as he willed it to go away. The rest of the world became detached. He could barely hear the people chattering around him. All he felt, all he knew was the pain of that moment. And the remaining threads of his vision.

He decided he had to stop calling them dreams. There was no way he could imagine something like that. He couldn't carry on denying any of this was true. He was in danger. Everyone was in danger. And only he could stop it. But how?

"Lance? Lance are you there?"

He pried his eyes open and squinted at the figure before him until the blurriness shifted into something more comprehensible. 

"Allura?"

"Lance! Oh, thank Heaven!" She sighed heavily and scrambled to her knees in front of him. She took his hands in hers and rested them on his lap, staring up at him patiently. 

He blinked a few more times before twisting his head to see where the others were but only found an empty room. A room he didn't recognise. 

"Where are we?" he mumbled and glanced back at Allura when her grip tightened. 

"We need to talk."

Lance closed his eyes again and focused on Allura's hands in his, keeping him grounded through the sharp pains in the centre of his forehead. "About?"

Allura stayed silent. Instead of speaking, however, she slipped a hand out of his and placed it against his cheek, smiling sadly as he leant into it. "A lot of things."

He hummed as an indicator for her to continue and tried to stop himself falling backwards. 

"How much do you remember?"

He thought for a second. "Videos. Tanda, and Blue...then black. Why what happened?"

"Lance, are you aware that you are not human?"

He furrowed his eyebrows and peeled his eyes open. Allura wasn't looking at him and had her eyes trained on the floor. The atmosphere was thick and it was then that Lance realised he was in a cell. 

"Well...I guess I kind of figured with everything that's been going on..."

Allura's lips twitched slightly but fell back into a frown and she squeezed his hands before continuing. "Earlier today you tried to leave the Castle. Keith tried to stop you. Do you remember?"

The words went in but they didn't exactly process. It was as though his mind was an old machine being powered after a thousand years of not being used. The cogs creaked and groaned, struggled against the pressure but the mechanism finally gave in and operated smoothly. 

"...I... _Keith_. Is Keith okay?" he stammered, leaning closer to Allura and startling her with his sudden outburst. "What happened? I remember I was glowing and he touched me and - and he - everything went dark..."

Allura refused to look him in the eyes. 

"Allura. What happened? Why am I in a cell?  _What did I do?_ "

_Something evil -_

His hands trembled and he bit his bottom lip. Tearing away from her, he stumbled to the door and tried the latch. Locked. 

"Allura, open the door. Let me see him."

"That's not a good id-"

"Let me see him!" he cried and yanked it again. "Just let me talk to him."

"You can't!" Allura shouted at him as he smashed his fists against the panel. 

"You can't stop me! He's my friend!"

"Lance. You're not leaving this room. I'm sorry."

"No! You have to let me see him!" He hit the door again and shook his head as Allura hesitantly walked up to him. 

"Lance-"

"Let me see him! I can explain!"

"Lance,  _please_. Let's just talk-" she choked on her words and swallowed the lump in her throat. 

"LET ME OUT!"

"KEITH ISN'T HERE!"

"NO! YOU'RE LYING!" 

He whacked the panel again, desperate to leave. He had to find Keith. He had to know he was okay. He could explain everything to him. He would understand. He wasn't dangerous.

"Keith isn't here Lance!" Allura cried and grabbed his arm, trying to pull him away from the door. "He isn't here anymore."

"Then  _where_ is he?" He demanded, turning to glare at her. 

Allura stumbled backwards but Lance ignored the small movement she made to raise her hands in surrender. 

"Gone."

"Gone  _where_?" 

"I don't know!"

"No..." his eyes widened and his shoulders fell. He took a step back and stared at her. "NO! That's not true! You know where he is! TELL ME!"

"He's gone, Lance." Tears spilt down Allura's cheeks and her hair fell messily from her ponytail. "You did something to him. We have his body...but he's not responding."

He shook his head and gripped his hair, turning on the spot and then pacing back and forth. "It's not true. I wouldn't...I'd never hurt Keith. I'd never - you're lying. He's fine. He's training as usual and this is just another drea- _vision_ , another vision. This is Tanda. Tanda's making me see this," he laughed. "None of this is real."

Allura sniffed and let her hair fall in front of her face, unable to watch Lance as he giggled and told her how he was going to wake up any time soon. She took a deep breath and wrung her hands together. 

"This is real, Lance. It's not a dream," she paused as he stared at her, eyes brimmed with tears and pleading for her to stop tormenting him. "Keith's gone...just like Shiro."

A sob tore from Lance's throat as he collapsed to the floor and screamed. She ran to his side and pulled him into her arms, not bothering about the fact that he was starting to glow again and Coran's warnings. He was still Lance. He was still their family.

His fists clenched into the fabric of her dress and she rocked him slightly, running a hand through his hair. Her own sobs echoed his as they grieved. She closed her eyes and clutched him tighter, steadying her breathing just enough so she could speak.

"I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry," she whispered as Lance slowly broke down for the second time that day. 

There's only so much a human can take. Only so much they can process before they shut down completely and give up. Only so much before it's  _too_  much.

Then again, Lance wasn't exactly human. She'd seen this type of thing only once before. And she prayed to every God and Star in the Universe that she was wrong. She would rather allow Zarkon win the war than for...

But  _'it is what it is'_. And for Lance, well, the Universe had definitely chosen one nightmare of a life for him.


End file.
